Chapter Text
TOKYO
“Hurry up!” Yelled Natsuo, “I can’t park here for long!” He turned to Shouto, “Wardens?”
“No.” Shouto assured him.
Natsuo nodded seriously and gripped the steering wheel, “I swear, if I get a ticket imma charge it to them. What the hell's taking so long?”
Shouto hummed noncommittally as he kept on guard for traffic wardens.
“Yeah yeah don’t get your f*cking panties in a twist.” Dabi strolled up to the car at a fairly sedate pace and slid into the back, “Not me who’s slowing us down, I was actually trying to hurry her along.”
“What’s she even doing?” Natsuo asked with some exasperation. “Shouto you stay on look out.” Shouto nodded and continued to stand by the car with both eyes trained on the road around them.
Dabi shrugged, leaning forward onto the middle seat rest, “Yumi is being Yumi, trying to fit her whole apartment into one bag. Y’know this’ll be the longest time she’s ever been out of Tokyo, Shou too.”
Natsuo seemed to pause at that, “Huh, you’re right.”
“At least Yumi’s actually been on holiday more than once, though you wouldn’t be able to f*cking tell by the way she’s acting. Last I saw she was trying to stuff her rice cooker into a tote bag.”
Natsuo laughs, “Still, she better hurry up, I can’t be held accountable for my actions if I end up getting a ticket before we’ve even really set off.”
“Hey I’m not arguing with you. Actually,” Dabi leaned forward in the seat until he was basically sprawled across Natsuo and honked the horn drawing looks from everyone on the street, “HURRY UP OR WE’RE LEAVING WITHOUT YOU.” He yelled and at that exact moment Fuyumi emerged from her apartment building, practically laden with bags.
“I’m here I’m, here! Sorry!” Fuyumi said a little breathlessly as she packed up the boot, rearranging things just a little as she did.
Shouto finally climbed into the back next to Dabi and Fuyumi hurried to the front of the car to get in beside Natsuo, “Okay!” She beamed, “Let’s go!”
Natsuo grinned, “Hell yeah! Road trip starts now!”
Shouto gave a little cheer (monotone as it was) as Natsuo pulled away from the curb and set off.
*
In all honesty this Japanese road trip had been planned… haphazardly.
Natsuo had managed to get a full month off after his exams which coincided with the summer Shouto was graduating from UA which coincided with Dabi being freelance and Fuyumi getting holidays off (the latter two reasons were pretty inconsequential). It was decided they had to take at least one holiday together as a group since it was highly unlikely they’d ever get the chance again. That was what Fuyumi was pushing at least and to be honest no one was disagreeing.
Dabi and Shouto had planned the trip which basically included googling “best places to visit Japan” with a little of Dabi’s own input from the various cities he’d been to and then plotting them out before drawing lines between them.
“Don’t you dare put on a podcast.” Dabi said sternly as Fuyumi synced up her phone with the car.
His sister pouted, “It’s on the current Japanese economic situation! It’s important!”
“Absolutely not. Vetoed. Natsu?”
“Sorry sis but I veto that too.”
“Shou?”
“What’s the economy?” Shouto said in the most deadpan voice he could manage.
Fuyumi couldn’t hold back her laughter at that. “Okay okay fine fine. I’ll put on some music.”
Dabi had thought Fuyumi’s music taste would have improved since they were kids but apparently not as she put on some god awful bubblegum J-pop.
“Turn that off!” He yelled.
Fuyumi turned it up louder, laughing all the way.
Dabi tried to lunge at her to force her to change it but Shouto held him back, “We’ll crash if we fight in the car.” He said.
“I’m sure Natsu can handle a little roughhousing as background noise.” Dabi said as he tried to wrestle Shouto out of the way. He was failing miserably though. f*cking UA had strengthened the kid’s muscles. And Dabi swore the sound of the J-pop itself was weakening him physically.
“My ears are bleeding.” He ended up moaning pathetically.
“You can play your music when it’s your turn.” Fuyumi told him and he groaned.
Natsuo, where he was driving, suddenly grinned in an extremely disconcerting manner, “I mean… we all know what you’re gonna play though.” He met Dabi’s eyes through the rearview mirror and then since he was obviously begging for death he put on his croakiest voice, “I listen exclusively to emo screamed sh*t, yeah because my name’s Dabi, the actual characters for cremation because I have a fire quirk obviously, and I believe all people are inherently selfish and terrible which is just an obvious fact of life everyone should know. I eat cynicism for breakfast and have a bad relationship with my father because that’s also obvious. I wear all black and have literal staples in my face and-”
“I don’t care that you’re driving, I will actually put my hands around your throat and choke you out.” Dabi threatened.
“No he’s driving!” Fuyumi immediately said.
“Ninety per cent of the time I open my mouth it’s to threaten bodily harm because I’m edgy like that, I don’t believe in showing affection in normal ways because I’m too jaded from my life experiences and my number one role in this family is to say downer things anytime we have a discussion.”
Dabi was slowly but surely getting past Shouto’s defences, probably because Shouto was laughing a little too hard to put his all into the fight.
“I’m like a caricature of-” Before Natsuo could continue Dabi broke free from Shouto and grabbed Natsuo’s head to slam it back against the headrest. The car swerved dangerously on the (thankfully empty) road and Fuyumi screamed and turned to yell at Dabi.
“HE’S DRIVING! KILL HIM ONCE HE STOPS!”
“Holy sh*t.” Natsuo regained control over the car and stopped it, panting for a few seconds, “I just saw my life flash before my eyes. What the hell?! I’m literally driving!”
“Talk sh*t get hit, you were tempting fate. co*cky bitch.” Dabi smacked him upside the head again just because he could.
“At least there’s no one else here.” Shouto (rightly) pointed out. “Or we would definitely get a ticket.”
“Yes actually,” Fuyumi frowned, “Where are we? We’re driving to Hakone, shouldn’t we be on the highway out of Tokyo?”
“Ehh,” Natsuo shrugged, seeming to have rapidly recovered from his near death experience, “I don’t wanna pay the tolls so I rejigged the route a little to avoid the gates.”
“Don’t you have an ETC?” Fuyumi asked with some judgement.
“It expired.” Natsuo made a face, “So I’ve been driving down backstreets instead of highways for… a while. I just can’t be bothered to renew it.”
“Lemme get this straight.” Dabi was fully judgemental, “You can’t be f*cking bothered to renew one little card so you’d rather increase your f*cking journey times by who knows how much to drive through the back and beyond? I honestly would respect it more if you were too stingy to pay the tolls rather than too lazy to renew the f*cking card.”
“If you’d rather think of me as stingy than lazy then go right ahead.” Natsuo said with not a hint of self-consciousness, “Whatever you think my motives are, I don't care. As if I’d feel any way about you judging me, you are literally wearing a black overcoat. It’s forty f*cking degrees.”
“Yeah, you’ve stopped the car so I’m gonna f*ck you up.” Dabi then proceeded to climb through the gap between the seats to grab the back on Natsuo’s head and begin to start bashing it against the steering wheel while Natsuo westled back.
Fuyumi sighed loudly, “Shouto, do you want a hi-chew?”
“Mm.” Shouto nodded and Fuyumi proceeded to take one out of her bag and pass it to Shouto through the gap in the headrest.
Natsuo got his leg up and was now kicking Dabi in the face.
“Can’t touch me now you f*cker!” Natsuo crowed as he fought off Dabi’s grabby hands only to yelp when Dabi grabbed his leg and pulled, sending him sprawling in the small area in an entirely uncomfortable way.
“I’m gonna burn your f*cking face off.”
“He’s the driver.” Fuyumi finally said with considerable exhaustion, “Can we just let him drive? We’re still in the middle of the road.” She grabbed the back of Dabi’s coat and pulled him back, “Seriously you two, stop! I want to make it to Hakone with enough time to see the lake in the daylight!”
“I’ve never been to Hakone before.” Shouto said, “I could drive and they could fight in the back. I took a class in operating a vehicle in high intensity situations.”
“Bro, your school doesn’t even sound like a real place most of the time.” Natsuo commented, him and Dabi deciding to settle it for now in that silent way they always did.
“Agreed.” Dabi climbed back into his own seat, “Your school is f*cking weird, all hero schools are f*cking weird.”
“Mm.” Shouto didn’t disagree, “Can I have another hi-chew?” He asked Fuyumi who promptly passed one to him.
“Hey, I want a hi-chew!” Natsuo complained.
“None for you, you literally were fighting Dabi not even two minutes ago!”
“I hate this family.” Natsuo muttered as he finally started the car back up. “Okay okay.” He turned back onto a wider street, “We’re back in business!” He then fiddled with the bluetooth settings, “Since you won’t give me a hi-chew I’m revoking your music privileges.”
“f*cking yes.” Groaned Dabi only to immediately say, “Wait f*ck no!” As soon as Natsuo synched up his own phone, “Your music taste is sh*t!”
“It’s not!” Natsuo defended.
“It’s f*cking psychotic!” Dabi protested, “Your playlists are f*cked up, they’re all over the place!”
“I wanna put everything I like in one place.” Natsuo tried to explain, “Like it’s all sh*t I like anyway.”
“It’s unhinged, you’re listening to club music one f*cking minute and then f*cking sappy ass ballads the next.”
“No love ballads.” Natsuo immediately said, “I took all of them off my playlist.”
Dabi and Fuyumi shared a look.
“Natsuo,” Fuyumi started rather delicately, “You know if you want to talk about anything to do with… everything, we’re always here to listen-”
“I don’t need to talk about sh*t.” Natsuo immediately said, “It’s all cool. Super cool. I’m good.”
Fuyumi winced and Dabi shrugged when they met eyes again.
“I just wanna spend the next month not thinking about anything.” Natsuo continued, “Exams fried my brain, I’m over it. I just wanna get wasted and look at cultural sites. Not necessarily in that order.”
Fuyumi opened her mouth then seemed to think better of it and closed it.
“That sounds good to me.” Shouto piped up to say, “I also want to look at cultural sites and maybe get wasted.”
“You’re such an embarrassing drunk.” Dabi cut in, “All you want to do is eat and lie around like a fat ferret.”
Natsuo snorted at that.
“You’re very cuddly.” Fuyumi said, obviously meaning it as a compliment.
Shouto shrugged, “I like what I like.” He then leaned back in his car seat, slumping down until he was almost horizontal, “I might take a nap.” He closed his eyes.
“Unbelievable.” Dabi muttered before turning to Natsuo, “That song is f*cking hideous, turn it off.”
Natsuo rolled his eyes before passing his phone back, “Here, you can pick.”
“None of these are good.” Dabi said rather critically before, “sh*t, you guys are still texting?”
“f*cking give me that back.” Natsuo’s arm lunged back while he kept one hand on the steering wheel.
“It’s not even an interesting message,” Dabi said rather critically, “It’s just a couple of those laughing crying emojis.”
“That’s it?” Natsuo seemed to deflate a little and his questing hand returned to the steering wheel, “Whatever, I don’t care.”
“Now you sound like Dabi.” Fuyumi said critically, “Here, have a hi-chew.”
“Strawberry?”
“Green apple.”
“I guess so.” Natsuo opened his mouth for the sweet to be shoved inside. “Now can you just pick a song?”
Dabi shared another look with Fuyumi and then put on some soothing classical music.
Shouto (where he had quickly fallen asleep) began to snore slightly.
*
MT. FUJI
The four Todoroki Siblings stood at the fifth station, ready to begin their ascent.
“I can’t be bothered.” Dabi yawned behind his mask before he waved a hand dismissively and turned around, “You guys go on without me.”
“What?! How lazy are you?” Natsuo grabbed Dabi by the arm, “You have to climb Mt Fuji! It’s a thing!”
“I don’t do things I don’t wanna do.” Dabi snarked back, “And I don’t wanna climb a f*cking mountain.”
“Stop making this so deep.” Natsuo protested, “This isn’t some philosophical battle for your soul, you’re just too lazy and you’re gonna regret it later.”
“I f*cking promise you, I’m not gonna regret it.”
“But we’re doing this as a gang.” Natsuo started to whine.
“Actually,” Fuyumi spoke up a little tentatively, “I don’t really want to climb it either, I’m sure it’s very beautiful but it’s a long way and I’m tired.”
Natsuo looked horrified, “You too?!”
“It’s like eight hours to the top.” Dabi said with another yawn, “You want me to walk uphill for eight hours and then another like six hours down? f*ck that, I’m out.”
“This trail has a really quick descent.” Natsuo tried to protest, “It’s like one fun sand slide down!”
“And that’s another thing.” Fuyumi mercilessly cut in, “Why did you pick this trail? There’s no one else even around, it’s not giving me a good feeling.”
“I picked it exactly because there’s no one else around.” Natsuo tried to defend, “The Gotemba trail is the least used so we’d have it almost to ourselves!”
“Not into it.” Dabi decided, “Yumi’s right, it looks weird.”
“And it takes eight hours!” Fuyumi said, “In fact, I guarantee you undersold the time and it takes far longer than that!”
“It’s an easy climb.” Natsuo protested, “That’s why it takes longer, I really was thinking of you guys! I mean, Dabi doesn’t even own climbing shoes! I was being considerate!”
“We don’t have any of the right equipment.” Fuyumi continued, “That sign over there says we need helmets!”
“That’s only for one section near the top and it’s recommended, not required.” Natsuo explained, “It’s fine! Just a little rocky.”
Fuyumi and Dabi shared a look.
“No.” Fuyumi decided.
“This is literally the very start of the road trip, you’re both setting a bad precedent!”
“Isn’t the point of a holiday to have fun?” Fuyumi questioned, “I don’t consider hiking very fun. Besides,” She gestured to Shouto, “Shouto wants to climb, right? You guys can do it together.”
“If you hate it that much why did you come all the way to the start of the trail?” Natsuo questioned with some despair.
Dabi shrugged, “I wanted to check it out and now I have.”
When Nastuo looked at Shouto his little brother at least gave him a thumbs up, “I want to climb.”
Natsuo sighed as he abandoned his older brother and sister to sling an arm around Shouto’s shoulders, “At least I got you baby bro.”
“We’ll take the car.” Dabi decided mercilessly, “So we don’t have to wait for the bus. Call us when you’re near the bottom and we’ll come pick you up.”
“See you later!” Fuyumi called out cheerfully as her and Dabi turned around and walked away. Dabi didn’t even bother to say goodbye.
“Let’s go get something to eat.” Was the last thing Natsuo heard as they departed followed by Fuyumi’s enthusiastic reply.
“They weren’t even dressed properly for it.” Muttered Natsuo, “Likely on purpose. They knew from the start.”
Shouto shrugged, “It’s fine, we still want to climb.”
“Hell yeah we do!” And then Natsuo grinned, “Race you to the next checkpoint!” And without another word he had darted off under the wooden gate and up the path, kicking up large clouds of black volcanic dust as he went.
Shouto didn’t say anything, just put his head down and ran, not using his quirk because he was being a good sport about things.
“Oi!” Natsuo laughed rather breathlessly as Shouto caught up to him, “Why are you so fast? This is embarrassing for me!”
“Pro-hero.” Shouto responded as he and Natsuo slowed down slightly so they were at more of a jog than a sprint. “Almost.” He then added since he hadn’t actually started yet.
“f*ck I’m already tired. Break break.” Natsuo stopped so he could crouch over a pant, “Holy sh*t I’m so out of shape. I hate hospitals, I hate exams, I hate libraries, I hate rotations and I hate patients. There I’ve f*cking said it, I hate all patients. Everyone sucks.”
Shouto patted Natsuo on the back where his brother was still bent over catching his breath.
“Water?” Natsuo asked rather pitifully and Shouto dutifully went to rifle through his brother’s backpack for the bottle.
“Thanks.” Natsuo unbent with the water in his hand and began to walk, “I’m not getting any younger.” He then immediately looked disgusted with himself, “I can’t believe I f*cking said that, who have I become?”
“An old man.”
“Pull your punches a little baby bro.” Natsuo then passed him the water.
Shouto took a deep drink, “I brought hi-chews, want one?”
“Hell yeah.”
After stuffing three different flavoured hi-chews in his mouth at once (because that was apparently the right way to do it) Natsuo clapped Shouto on the shoulder.
“I’m actually really glad we’re doing this without those two losers.” Natsuo decided as they continued their steady ascent, “This is bro bonding time! They can be boring and spend their summer eating and being lazy but I wanna be doing stuff! What’s the point in road tripping around if we’re not seeing the sights.”
“Mm.” Shouto agreed.
“Plus,” Natsuo continued, “This might be the last time we all get to do stuff as a group like this! Schedules are hard enough to coordinate as it is. I know you’re gonna be busy as hell once you get started working.”
“Mm.” Shouto nodded, “I’m excited.”
“As you should be! How do you feel about it? I know you’ve been doing a sh*t-ton of work placements over the years and stuff like that so you’re probably very ready but even so, give me your thoughts.”
Shouto considered it carefully, “I will be doing what I always thought I would be so I suppose it’s not a big adjustment.” His head tilted a little as he thought, “It’ll be different working full time though, before it was always part time.”
“That’s true.”
“Are you excited to become a doctor?” Shouto then asked, which was a completely reasonable question if only Natsuo wasn’t so sick of studying he would rather drop out and do literally anything else at that precise moment.
“I like it when I’m doing it.” He did say, “Honestly it’s f*cking crazy and a lot all of the time and I’m definitely not ready but I’m also so over school that I wouldn’t even mind just being thrown in right now. Although as I’m saying this I bet when I start I’ll long for the simplicity of the classroom and all that jazz.”
“That makes sense.”
Natsuo gave a great heaving sigh, “I’ll be more excited to go back to being a doctor after a break.”
“Mm.” Shouto tossed a hi-chew in his mouth.
“I’ve been in a rut.” Natsuo went on to say, “Like obviously a lot of it is exams, you can’t do sh*t when you’re studying. God I hate reivising, it’s like torture because it’s never done y’know? It’s like if you gotta… I dunno do a worksheet or something for class once you do the worksheet it’s over and you can put it away but revision is like eternal. It’s honestly the worst.”
“Mm.” Shouto passed Natsuo another hi-chew.
“And now that we’re all getting to graduation age, at least for my non-medic friends, so everything’s changing. Kenji’s moving to Osaka for work and a bunch more people are moving away. I mean-” Natsuo cut himself off.
“Have another hi-chew.” Shouto offered.
Natsuo took it without another word.
Shouto looked at the straight ascent before them, “Let’s race.” He decided and then immediately broke into a run.
Natsuo cursed but followed anyway, choking painfully on his hi-chew as he went, which was likely all part of Shouto’s winning strategy.
*
“Smile.” Shouto commanded, holding up his phone, and Natsuo obligingly grinned and threw up a V for victory before his expression once more reverted back to exhaustion.
“The view’s nice.” He finally sat down, leaning back on his elbows as he sprawled out in exhaustion, “f*ck, at least we made it up here before the sun set. We gotta hurry to get down before it gets dark though.”
Shouto nodded, “Water?” He passed the bottle over at Natsuo’s grabby hands of agreement.
“You refilled it?” Natsuo took a deep appreciative swig.
Shouto nodded, wriggling his fingers.
“Your quirk is so f*cking useful.” Nastuo muttered before he yawned, “God, I’m gonna sleep so well tonight, I can feel it. It’s gonna be proper dead sleep.” He looked at the path to descend a little mournfully, “If only we could just teleport down.”
“I want to run down the sand bits you were talking about.”
“Then we shall do that.” Natsuo said grandly, “Not that we have all that much choice but for you baby bro, the only one of our siblings that didn’t abandon me, we can do whatever you want. You’re the only valid person in this whole family.”
“Mm.”
Natsuo took that as an agreement.
“This feels so good.” Natsuo said with something like a sigh in his voice as he looked over the view from the summit. “Proper satisfaction y’know? God I didn’t feel satisfied at all after my exams, I’m sure I failed at least a few and that really ruined the catharsis of finishing. But whatever, it’s done. Nothing I can do about it now.”
Shouto made another sound of agreement before his phone pinged.
“Mother said the photo is very nice.” He told Natsuo as he checked the message.
“Oh?” Natsuo leaned over, “You sent that to her?” He reached for Shouto’s phone which was surrendered easily.
Natsuo looked at the chat history briefly, “You’ve sent her so many pics.” There was Fuyumi in the car and Natsuo at the hotel and Dabi on the road.
“Mm, she can’t come with us so I thought I would keep her updated. She says she likes seeing what we’re up to.”
“That’s really nice baby bro.” Natsuo looked thoughtful before he suddenly said, apropos of nothing, “I’m actually really sad right now.” He then stared into the distance as if that would make a difference to the abruptness of what he had just shared.
Thankfully Shouto wasn’t someone to be put off by emotional abruptness. He reached over and patted Natsuo on the back in response. He then reached into his pocket for another hi-chews and found that he had run out. What unfortunate timing.
“If you want to talk about it I’m here.” Shouto offered since the hi-chew option was a dud.
Natsuo gave him a slightly wobbly smile, “Thanks baby bro.” He then stared out at the view for a long few seconds, “Nothing really to talk about.” He finally said, “You already know anyway. Nothing more to say.” He sighed deeply, “Like I said, I just want this summer to be a good one. No thinking, all drinking y’know?”
Shouto let out a mood appropriate whoop that that.
“Yeah. Nothing for it but time y’know? That’s the main thing everyone’s said, nothing but time is gonna make me feel better.”
“But you will feel better.”
“Yeah, I will. Right now though… heartbreak actually feels a lot like heartburn.” Natsuo said with another sigh, “It’s f*cking gross.”
“Doesn’t sound great.” Shouto agreed.
“Nah, it’s sh*t.”
There was another comfortable silence.
“So,” Natsuo finally said, “Should we make our sandy descent now?”
Shouto gave a thumbs up in affirmation, “Let’s go.”
As they turned to leave the summit Natsuo grabbed Shouto for a hug. His baby brother was the same height as him now. It was… weird. But also strangely natural.
Natsuo squeezed hard and then wasted no time once he’d released him.
“And now I’m gonna beat you to the bottom.” With that he turned and began (carefully because the ground was rocky and a little unstable) to run away.
“Not if I get there first.” Shouto challenged, pausing to scoop up their water bottle before he followed at a slightly less careful pace.
The sun set and the air was far too frigid for mid-summer but the path down was a smooth slide back to civilisation where Fuyumi and Dabi were waiting with the car.
*
TAKAYAMA
“Sometimes.” Fuyumi said very languidly, sprawled on the tatami floors in her robe, “I think that the olden days had the right idea.”
Fuyumi had soaked in the onsen earlier for so long that even Dabi began to feel a little concerned and tasked Shouto to go look for her. Shouto couldn’t go into the female-only onsen obviously so he’d had to wait outside and ask some random woman (very politely) if she would check on his sister for him.
Far later, as Shouto stood and waited outside trying his best to look inconspicuous and not as though he was loitering outside the women’s onsen, Fuyumi had re-emerged for their long lazy multi-course dinner in their room looking pink from the hot water and slightly hazy around the eyes with relaxation.
Later in their room in the Ryokan she had melted into her futon, full and satisfied.
“The olden days were sh*t.” Was Dabi’s reply. “Being a peasant would have been hell.”
“We wouldn’t have been peasants though.” Natsuo was steadily drinking his way through his second bottle of umeshu, helped very slightly by Shouto, “Like we’re imagining us in the past right? We’ve got pedigree, through okaa-san if nothing else.”
Dabi made a face, “Pedigree? You? Dream on.”
“I would make a great samurai.” Natsuo said grandly, “I’d have a cool-ass sword and spend my time upholding my family’s honour and sh*t.”
“And committing seppuku.” Dabi snarked back.
“At least I’d go out in style.” Natsuo poked Shouto, “You’d be my second right? To make sure I seppuku it right.”
Shouto nodded seriously.
“We wouldn’t be samurais.” Fuyumi then piped up sleepily, “The Himuras were part of the Shogunate.”
“That’s worse.” Dabi groans, “We’d be politicians.”
“Does being a military dictator count as being a politician?” Natsuo asked before he frowned to himself, “Ignore that, dumb question. Anyways, I’d rather be a samurai.”
“You could.” Shouto confirmed, holding his cup out so Natsuo could refill, “There’s no rule that you couldn’t be a samurai. I think. I don’t remember much about history class.”
“Dabi would be a ninja.” Natsuo continued with great cheer, personally extremely entertained by imagining this scenario, “Super dishonourable, just waging guerilla warfare and assassinating people left and right. Technically you’re already a mercenary. It checks out.”
Dabi just rolled his eyes before turning to Fuyumi, “There, does it still sound so great? You’ve got one ninja brother and one wants to be a samurai and your family is all over serious politics. Plus you’re a girl so you’d just be a baby-maker.”
Fuyumi groaned, “You can’t say I’d be a baby-maker.”
“What? It’s the truth.”
“Yeah but you’re a boy so you don’t get to say that.” Fuyumi yawned.
“f*cking fine.” Dabi nudged her with his foot to which she swatted him away, “Tell us about how great your life would be back then.”
“No internet.” Fuyumi said, “No jobs, no phone alarms, no deadlines for submitting school reports. Hmm.” She hummed happily. “Just tatami mats and fresh produce.”
“You’d have other problems.” Dabi said, “But,” He conceded, “You wouldn’t have to go to your 9-5 or deal with snotty little brats all day, remind me why the hell you wanted to be a teacher again?”
“I like children and teaching.” Was Fuyumi’s simple response. She yawned again, “Gosh, the onsen has made me so sleepy. I love it, I’m getting under the covers.”
“It’s like the ass-crack of summer.”
Fuyumi didn’t pay Dabi’s words any mind, instead just getting under her blanket and snuggling in.
“I don’t think I’d be great at the having babies part of it.” She then said with another yawn.
“Aw no sis, you’d be great!” Natsuo insisted, “You’d be a lit ass mom.”
Shouto nodded gravely.
“Plus your kids would have the best Uncles of all time. Goddamn I’d love to be an Uncle actually.” Natsuo sipped at his umeshu with a slightly dreamy look on his face, “All the fun, only a tiny amount of responsibility. Kids are great! I’d be top notch at it!”
“Mm.” Fuyumi sighed and closed her eyes, “You were actually very close to being an uncle a few years ago, but I miscarried.”
The effect of those words is the same as if she had set off a contained explosion in the room. Or maybe punched Natsuo in the face.
“What?!” Unsurprisingly it’s Natsuo, unfortunately tipping towards tipsy, who recovers enough to speak first, “When? Why did you say anything?? Are you alright?? You-”
Fuyumi sighs and keeps her eyes closed as she snuggles even more deeply into her futon, “I’m fine. It’s been a while anyway. Besides, something like 40% of women in Japan miscarry at some point. You’re a doctor, shouldn’t you know that?”
“40% of women is not my sister!” Natsuo’s point didn’t quite make sense but it was obvious to everyone what he was trying to say.
“I was only around six weeks along, I didn’t even know I was pregnant.”
“You saw a doctor?”
“I’m fine Natsuo, really. I’m not gonna drop dead right now.” Despite her words, Fuyumi's voice is still lazy and relaxed, her eyes are still closed.
“But-”
“Oi, shut up for now.” Dabi kicked at Natsuo, “You heard her, she says she’s fine.”
“What did Haru say?” Shouto suddenly asked.
Fuyumi sighed at this point, “He was upset.”
“Well f*ck him,” Natsuo said indignantly, “He shouldn’t-”
“He’s allowed to feel upset Natsuo, even if it was all a bit of an accident he can still be upset.”
“Were you upset?” Natsuo asked, a little hesitantly, rather delicately as though he wasn’t sure what to say but was determined to say something.
“No.” Fuyumi answered immediately, “I was actually… relieved.”
“That’s fair.” Dabi said, “You weren’t f*cking planning for a kid, good that all worked itself out on its own.”
Fuyumi laughed very weakly.
“Ow!” Dabi hissed as he turned to Shouto who had just kicked him, “What was that for?”
“That was insensitive.” Shouto half-reprimanded.
“I’m not wrong!”
“When I was at the doctors,” Fuyumi starts, “I remember feeling so confused, I couldn’t understand how this had happened. Not just because I was using protection, but because I was so young. I couldn’t understand how I, of all people, was pregnant, even for under six weeks.” She shakes her head, “Then the week after I attended one of my friend’s baby showers and it really… I still think of myself as so young even though I’m not. That’s along the lines of what Haru said, he said that even though we didn’t plan this maybe we could.”
“Oh god.” Natsuo looks a little shellshocked, “I take back my Uncle comment, you’re way too young to have a baby.”
“Mm.” Fuyumi doesn’t seem inclined to disagree, “I never would have told you all, or anyone else. I wasn’t planning on it, I actually forgot it happened. But… I suddenly thought about it and thought why not?”
“You should have told us!” Nastuo says indignantly, “What if there were further complications or anything? What if something happened!”
“I saw a doctor, Natsuo. I was fine.”
“Well, you still should have told us!” Natsuo sounds petulant, “That’s a big deal.”
“If it’s 40% of all women it’s not really.” Dabi, as usual, came in to undercut Natsuo’s point, “And like she said it was under six weeks. It’s not even the size of a berry.”
“You guys don’t get what I’m trying to say.” Natsuo muttered.
Fuyumi finally opened her eyes again, “I know Natsuo, but it happened right around the time that Father found out about Dabi. I really didn’t see the point in muddying the waters even more at that point.”
“Oh.” Natsuo seemed to absorb that before he scowled, “You still could have told us! Or me.”
Fuyumi reached out a hand, but unable to reach Natsuo let it drop, “I could have.” She agreed, “But I didn’t really feel like it.”
Natsuo took another deep drink of umeshu, “Okay.” He finally said, “But are you really okay?”
“I’m really alright.”
“As long as you’re alright.” Natsuo hesitated and seemed to be quickly facing the fact that as much as he wanted to know more he also didn’t really, and furthermore he was unqualified to give advice in this area that Fuyumi likely didn’t know. He seemed to be thinking hard about something to say, something useful. “Did you speak to mother about it? She’s a woman, I bet she has stuff she could share.” Clumsy, but not without merit.
“I didn’t.” Fuyumi frowns, “I never even thought of it.”
“Why didn’t you think of it?” Dabi asked.
“I don’t know.” Fuyumi admitted, “I just didn’t even consider it an option.” She tilted her head in thought, “But I think I will, when we’re back in Tokyo I’ll speak to her. Not just about that but you’re right, I could go to her about this kind of thing.”
“Yeah you could.” Natsuo raked a hand through his hair, “What the f*ck. We need to stop with the surprise revelations. I’ve had enough. My resolution for the new year-”
“It’s not the new year.” Dabi cut in but Natsuo ignored him.
“My resolution is to only talk about things when they happen and then never again.”
Shouto, Fuyumi and Dabi shared a look.
“Uh… right.” Dabi looked deeply sceptical, “Y’know what, I’m not gonna say anything about that f*cking stupid idea. Y’know what I do want though? Ice-cream, I want ice-cream. Let’s go get some.”
“No.” Fuyumi’s face was in her pillow, “I’m tired.”
“Yeah no, I don’t wanna move either.” Natsuo refilled his cup.
Dabi turned to Shouto.
“There’s a Family Mart two streets down.” Shouto supplied.
“You’re the best. Let’s go.” Dabi heaved himself up, followed by Shouto. “What do you dicks want?”
“Haagen-Daz. Strawberry cream.” Fuyumi immediately answered.
“Honestly anything, maybe pino? You guys pick.” Was Natsuo’s response, “And a beer. Actually screw the ice-cream, I want chips, something salty.”
Dabi rolled his eyes, “C’mon Shou, let’s go.”
The late summer air was warm even at night and somehow seemed full of possibilities. The streets were dark but not empty and when they reached the Konbini Shouto found himself hit with a sudden shocking burst of happiness as he dug around the ice-cream freezer.
Sometimes this happened, he was randomly hit by happiness. It could be a little frightening in its intensity sometimes and the fact that (like all intense emotions) it never stayed.
“Oi.” Dabi shoved him right into the freezer and cackled as Shouto managed to extricate himself with a glare.
“Which one looks worse?” Dabi held up two bags of chips. Both in… odd flavours.
“Umeboshi flavoured crisps?” Shouto said with scepticism.
“Or cod roe.” Dabi shook the packet and grinned under his mask, “Pick your poison.”
“Pick Natsuo’s poison.” Shouto surmised easily, “Umeboshi.”
“Yeah, I had a feeling that was the one.” Dabi nodded and threw the packet at Shouto, “I’ve done my job, I’m gonna wait outside.” With that he abandoned Shouto.
Shouto sighed but made his way dutifully to the checkout. As the worker was scanning his items they kept glancing at him and Shouto had a sneaking suspicion he knew why.
“I’m really sorry,” They did look genuinely apologetic, “But you look very familiar.”
“I get that a lot.” Shouto said with a nod.
“Maybe you just have one of those faces.” They joked as the total was rung up.
Huh. “Maybe.” Shouto agreed.
That was really quite painless. Maybe he did just have one of those faces (whatever one of those faces was anyway).
*
NARA
“f*ck THEY’RE AGGRESSIVE! AGGRESSIVE DEER! SOMEONE SAVE ME!” Natsuo all but shrieked. He tried to escape the deer that were now chasing him in the hopes of getting more crackers.
Natsuo all but screamed as one of them grabbed the edge of his t-shirt in its deer teeth and tugged.
“HELP!” He howled.
Fuyumi stepped forward, sighing, and took out a cracker to break into pieces to offer to the deer. The deer happily released Natsuo and took the piece of offered cracker. The rest of the deer calmy trotted up to Fuyumi and accepted the offerings.
“Our sister is a bona-fide Disney princess.” Dabi said from where he was leaning against a tree and not even attempting to feed the deer.
Shouto hummed from where he was seated on the ground surrounded by deer and happily spoiling them with multiple crackers.
“It’s about remaining calm.” Fuyumi said pointedly with a look to the still white-faced Natsuo.
“I was about to die! You would have to retrieve my corpse from the herds of bloodthirsty deer!”
“I think they’re cute.” Shouto said firmly as the deer gathered around him like he was some kind of deer oracle.
“Nah I’m with Natsu on this. Deer are f*cking vicious animals.” Dabi threw his own two cents in from where he was lingering under a tree, free away from the many deer and conspicuously free of rice cakes.
“Thank you!” Natsuo said empathically. He tossed his rice cakes to Shouto who caught them one-handed and then migrated over to where Dabi was standing.
“I was scared for my life.” He emphasised to his brother.
Dabi rolled his eyes but slung an arm around Natsuo’s shoulders anyway, “Don’t worry, I’d set the deer on fire before I let them kill you.”
“Huh, barbequed deer. People eat deer though, that’s venison right?” Natsuo said thoughtfully.
“Don’t you dare!” Fuyumi called from where she was still feeding the flock of adorable bowing deer, “These are such good deer! Don’t you dare even talk about eating them!”
Dabi and Natsuo exchanged dry looks.
“I don’t trust animals that can think for themselves.” Dabi declared, still in the shadows with a hat, sunglasses and mask on in the summer heat.
“What does that make us bro?” Natsuo asked, swinging an arm around his brother’s shoulders. “Aren’t we all descended from monkeys?”
Shouto looked up then, “Monkeys?” He asked.
“Did you not learn about evolutionary theory at school?” Asked Fuyumi then, still surrounded by deer like a fairy-tale princess.
Shouto hummed, “Maybe.” He said before turning his attention back towards the deer.
Dabi sighed, “C’mon Natsu, let’s leave these weirdos. I wanna go to a f*cking temple, I bet it’ll be cooler.”
“Yeah I’m with you on that.” Natsuo handed the rest of his crackers to Shouto and with one last wave the two of them left.
“It’s actually really nice.” Was Natsuo’s inspired comment. “Like looking around, it’s cool. Especially to appreciate our own culture ya know?”
Dabi just groaned dramatically.
Natsuo huffed, “Fine f*ck you, I’m tryna say something halfway real. You’re such a dick.”
“You’re acting as though that’s something you didn’t already know.”
Natsuo rolled his eyes, “Why are you like this?” He questioned though to nothing in particular, maybe to some random kami. “Hey!” He suddenly had a thought, “I bet there’s an omamori for helping someone who’s a massive dick! Don’t worry bro, I’ll buy it for you.”
“Oh f*ck you.”
Dabi shoved Natsuo and Natsuo shoved back though they kept steadily moving in the direction of Saidai-ji, multi-tasking was an important skill after all.
*
OSAKA
“He’s doing it again.” Dabi told Fuyumi as the two of them sat at their booth and watched Natsuo chat up the pretty girl standing by the bar with her friend.
Shouto paused in stacking the empty shot-glasses Natsuo and Fuyumi had managed to get through and sat up a little to observe the way his older brother placed a hand on the girl’s arm and leaned in. She laughed and leaned in as well.
Dabi whistled, “He has game I’ll give him that.”
Fuyumi frowned, “I still don’t think he’s dealing with the breakup. Sleeping with other people won’t make him feel better.”
“Eh, I dunno. It’ll distract him and maybe that’s what he needs right now.” Dabi countered.
Fuyumi sighed, “I think he’s just delaying the inevitable.”
Shouto took a sip of his beer, “The girl he’s talking to is pretty.” He offered, “Maybe he’ll ask her on a date.”
Fuyumi and Dabi exchanged a fonder look than maybe they meant to.
“Doubt it. Besides even if they hook up and wanna make it work we don't know where the f*ck she's from, are they gonna go long-distance? That’s what killed it with Kiyoko.”
“I suppose so.” Shouto conceded and went back to stacking the glasses.
Fuyumi sighed, “I just don’t want him to get hurt.”
“He’s a big boy.” Dabi argued back, “He knows how to handle himself.” He then seemed to think it over, “And even if he doesn’t that’s his own responsibility. Be young, make mistakes, blah blah blah.”
Fuyumi sighed again but could say nothing to that. She’d already tried to coax Natsuo into talking about his breakup with Kiyoko and the results had been… not great.
Dabi yawned then, “f*ck I’m tired. Is that just me?”
“It’s almost two a.m.” Shouto added, he took another drink of his beer.
“Wait wait we can’t leave yet! I still want to dance a little more!” Fuyumi waved her hand, “Dabi?”
“Ugh fine! But only because Shou is so awful at dancing it would kill me to have to watch him.”
“Shouto watch our stuff?” Fuyumi gestured to her purse.
Shouto nodded seriously, “I’ll make sure it all gets stolen.”
Dabi rolled his eyes and (gently) hit Shouto up the side of the head, “Yeah yeah.” And with that his two siblings disappeared onto the small dance floor. Shouto could probably see them if he craned his neck but he was more interested in sipping his (illegal) beer and watching the other tables of people. The bar wasn’t huge but it was busy. Shouto rested a head on his palm as he watched the people mill around.
“Hey baby bro.” Natsuo had come forward, holding the hand of the giggling girl he was talking to at the bar, “This is Mina, we’re gonna head out. Can you tell the others?”
Shouto nodded, “Okay.”
“Great! See ya.” And with that Natsuo threw an arm around the girls’ waist and the two of them left giggling and chatting.
It was strange how quickly and easily Natsuo seemed to fall into intimacy with other people. Shouto had watched Natsuo “sleep his way through every town from here to Nagoya” (Dabi’s gross exaggeration, not his) and he wondered how Natsuo seemed to be so… easy with people he just met. Natsuo had always been like that but still.
Shouto craned his neck and watched Dabi twirl Fuyumi on the dance floor. The two of them then started this weird little matching choreography with their hands before moving on to their classic “you go left I go right” little duck and weave that they had perfected. Fuyumi grabbed Dabi’s hand and violently twirled him. Both their heads were thrown backwards in laughter.
Shouto turned back to his beer. He wasn’t actually sure if he liked beer or not but his siblings consistently bought them for him (Natsuo said it was essential he learn how to drink beer well. Shouto didn’t understand how there could be a way to drink beer well or badly but he supposed he was learning).
He ended up leaving first and going back to the hotel to fall asleep before Fuyumi and Dabi were ready to leave. The next morning he subsequently woke up first and was greeted by Fuyumi passed out in her clothes in a very uncomfortable looking position on the bed while Dabi was sleeping sitting up in a chair.
Shouto winced sympathetically and got up to change into a t-shirt and some shorts before creeping out of the room to go find something to eat.
He exited the building, waving to the nice front desk worker as he passed, and breathed in the warm early-morning summer air. It looked like it would be a lovely day.
It was just as that moment that he spotted a very familiar someone stumbling through that early morning summer haze towards him.
“Hey baby bro.” Natsuo smiled and it looked very brittle.
“Natsu-nii.” Shouto stepped towards his brother, “Are you okay?”
“Peachy keen.” Natsuo said very unconvincingly, “You the only one awake?”
“Yes.” Shouto thought to himself and decided, “Wait here a second.” He quickly slipped back inside and with all his stealth training grabbed Natsuo a bottle of water and a fresh shirt that his brother took very gratefully, stripping off and changing right outside in the open.
“Thanks Shou.” Natsuo smiled and it was still brittle after half the bottle of water and without the smell of stale perfume and alcohol so strongly on him.
“I’m going to find breakfast. Come with me.” Shouto offered. “I heard that there’s a cafe near here that’s American style and does limitless coffee.”
Natsuo darted a glance towards their room which contained a bed to sleep in but also two other siblings that would ask way more questions than Shouto.
Natsuo nodded and holding his balled-up shirt they headed off down the (already a little busy) Osaka streets towards Shouto’s cafe.
“Are you alright?” Shouto asked after they had finally arrived and sat down in the uncomfortable plastic chairs. They were the kind of chairs that felt extremely unstable when you sat down and then left bright pink welts in your legs after you had stood up.
Natsuo nodded, then shook his head, then bent down and thumped his forehead on the table. “They’re playing ABBA.” He muttered. “They’re not even American.”
Shouto blinked, “What?”
“ABBA. It’s a Swedish band. Have you ever watched Mama Mia?” Natsuo asked from where his face was pressed up against the table.
“No.” Shouto said honestly, “Are they good?”
Natsuo began to hum and before long he was singing in English, Shouto didn’t understand the words but they sounded okay.
“That was Kiyoko’s favourite song.” Natsuo’s fingers drum at the table, “Y’know last summer when we went to the beach she made me act out this whole sequence.”
He begins to sing again and Shouto doesn’t recognise many words. He really needs to get better at English.
“f*ck.” Natsuo’s voice is thick, “I miss her so much. I miss her.”
Shouto reaches out and pats Natsuo on the back where he’s slumped over the table.
“Did you really have to break up?”
“Yes. No. Yes.” Natsuo makes a frustrated sound, “She’s leaving to London to do her dream masters there and I really don’t want to do long distance but it’s fine if it’s a year but she wants to stay there and I’m not f*cking moving to London, I can’t even if I wanted to so yeah. That’s it.”
Shouto keeps patting him, “That sucks.”
“Yeah it f*cking blows. I would actually prefer it if she cheated on me.”
“Really?”
“Well no, like obviously not but also… maybe? I mean we’re “friends” right now and it’s just… f*cking look at this-” Natsuo slides his phone across the table to Shouto, open to a text conversation, “We’re just acting like it’s completely f*cking normal when it’s not but I’m not gonna be the one who can’t handle being friends and she doesn’t seem to mind so… yeah. f*ck.”
Shouto skims through the messages. They do seem normal.
“You aren’t enjoying this though.”
“It would be worse if we weren’t speaking, we share so many friends it would make it so f*cking awkward.” Natsuo sighs heavily, “It’s fine. I just have to wait for her to leave for London in August and then she’ll be gone and things will just…” He makes a gesture that likely means “fade out”.
“Okay, if that’s good for you.”
“I dunno Shou. I really don’t f*cking know. I feel like sh*t.”
“Because you’re hungover?”
“Sure, that’s part of it but also…” Natsuo sighs heavily, “Don’t tell Fuyumi this because I don’t want her to know she’s right but… I don’t think hooking up is making me feel better. I actually feel really sh*t.”
“Really?”
“Okay maybe not really sh*t. Like I feel sh*t right now but it felt really f*cking good last-”
“You don’t have to tell me that bit.” Shouto says while wrinkling his nose.
Natsuo laughs, “Fine fine. My bad.” He takes a long drink of the coffee they’ve been brought and sighs, “Damn that’s good. Hits the spot.”
When it seems like he’s been absorbed into his own thoughts Shouto gently nudges him, “You feel bad?”
“I dunno, maybe this is a really wet thing to say but sex is… special? Well not special, that's kinda dramatic to say but it’s… I dunno, hooking up with all these randos just makes me miss her even more. It’s like… she was, is, really cool and I miss her and every time I have sex with someone else I’m distracted for a bit but then I just miss her even more.”
Shouto nodded thoughtfully though he had to admit he didn’t have much to add.
Natsuo laughed a little bitterly, “I can’t talk about this anymore. f*ck I need food. Can we order? You ready?”
“Yes.” Shouto turned to catch the waitress’ eyes, “And Natsu-nii,” He turned to his brother, “It’ll be okay.”
“I know.” Natsuo said. He suddenly frowned, “Y’know,” He drew a considering finger across the table, “I think the hardest thing in life to accept is that… the good times will never last forever. Like bad times don’t last and that’s great but neither do good times. It’s all,” And he swooped his hand up and down to represent the choppy see-saw of life. “Y’know?”
“That’s true.” Shouto nodded thoughtfully, “I’d never thought of that.”
“Yeah, that’s my wisdom of the day. From now on I wanna be too high. On life,” He quickly amended at Shouto’s raised eyebrow, “To have anymore revelations.”
“Mm. I’m hungry.”
“Exactly, see we’re on the same page with this.”
When the waitress came to take the order Natsuo was (very charmingly) using the table as a place to rest his head on the cover of his arms, eyes pressed closed, while Shouto ordered for him in his comfortingly steady way.
*
HIMEJI CASTLE
“This place is pretty lush.” Dabi commented as he and Fuyumi looked out at the view from Himeji Castle.
Fuyumi hummed but it was very clear there was something else on her mind.
Dabi considered whether or not he wanted to touch that and then decided why not, “Hey what’s up? You’ve been kinda f*cking weird all morning.”
“Where are Natsuo and Shouto?” Fuyumi asked in reply.
Dabi shrugged, “Off making trouble somewhere? I dunno, they said they wanted to check out the interior and sh*t. Do I look like I know what’s up with those two?”
Fuyumi nodded and it was very clear she wasn’t listening properly. f*cking rude.
“Y’know,” Dabi said as he leaned against the wall, “Technically the Himuras would have had a pad like this. Well, probs not this nice, but hey Fuyumi, we’re descended from pseudo-aristocrats.”
That at least made Fuyumi roll her eyes, “Mmm.”
“Though no one would be able to guess from the size of your sh*tty apartment.” Dabi couldn’t help but snark.
Fuyumi reached out to hit at his arm but didn’t protest. Instead she continued to look out at the view with a curiously blank expression.
Dabi frowned, “What is it?”
Fuyumi didn’t answer for several long seconds. Dabi waited fairly patiently, he was pretty good at this waiting game stuff.
“Haru proposed to me.”
Holy f*ck Dabi hadn’t been expecting that and he abruptly choked on his own spit.
Just as he was recovering Fuyumi spoke again.
“I said no.”
Dabi began a whole new round of choking while Fuyumi watched him in vague… amusem*nt?
When he had finally recovered he managed to croak a weak, “Warn a guy. That’s serious sh*t.”
Fuyumi huffed something that was almost a laugh, “Sorry.”
“f*cking hell.” Dabi sighed, “Okay okay you said no?”
“Yes. I… I’ve been feeling out of sorts recently.”
“Yeah okay.”
“I don’t think I’m ready for marriage.”
Dabi co*cked his head curiously, “Even being engaged?”
“I don’t want to promise something I can’t eventually give.” Fuyumi explained. The two of them began walking away from the way and back towards the castle’s main building.
“Huh. What about love and all that mumbo jumbo?” Asked Dabi as they skirted the edge of the moat.
“Well what about Hawks? If he asked you to marry him would you say yes?” Challenged Fuyumi.
“Yes.” Dabi said, surprising himself, he continued in vague shock, “Oh sh*t, yeah. Yeah I think so. Actually f*ck it yeah a hundred and ten f*cking percent I would.”
Fuyumi blinked a little, “Really?”
“Yeah… I would. I mean… I can’t see myself with anyone else. He’s kinda the best y’know? I… f*ck yeah I would. sh*t. f*cking balls sh*t.” Dabi gave her a serious look. “You better not tell anyone about this, I don’t want birdbrain thinking I’m that easy.”
“I won’t I won’t, this is a private conversation.” Fuyumi smiled though it was small, “Haru is kind of the best too.” She said quietly.
“Then why?” Dabi asked with no judgement attached.
“I’ve been thinking more and more recently. About what I want from life and… Haru is my first relationship and I’m still young.”
“Yeah, you’re a f*cking baby.”
Fuyumi hit him as if on instinct and Dabi laughed, “Quiet you.” Fuyumi scolded before sighing, “I became a teacher because it was one of the easiest jobs to train for, that would give me a stable career out of school and ensure I could have good working hours so I could still look after Shouto.”
“Mmm.” Dabi acknowledged as they stopped again outside the entrance to the main building.
“I… I suppose things settling down have caused me to start thinking that I want more. It’s selfish-“
“I don’t think so. I think you’re finally happy enough to start looking at your options.” Dabi pointed out, “And I think you think you settled.”
Fuyumi sighed, “I don’t want to say that.”
“Why not? It’s kind of the truth.”
“I like being a teacher.” Fuyumi explained, “I love Haru. I don’t think these things are… below my capabilities.”
Dabi acknowledged that with a nod, “Well it’s all relative ain’t it? I mean… you probably could have done better in the sense that your job is cool but you could be doing one with infinitely higher pay, you’re smart enough. And Haru is great, I like the guy, trust me. But you could be seeing someone who’s more attractive, richer, more ambitious, blah blah and so on. Wanting more isn’t a weird thing but it all depends on if you’re happy with what you got and by the sounds of it you aren’t.”
Fuyumi shakes her head, “That makes me sound like a sh*tty person.” She said rather dryly, “Not to be happy with everything I have.” They slipped off their shoes and put them into the provided cubby holes at the entrance before continuing on inside.
“You kinda love beating yourself up huh?” Dabi pointed out as they entered the cool interior of the castle. There were surprisingly few tourists and Dabi had some fun by sliding across the polished wood floors in his socks.
On a whim he grabbed Fuyumi’s hand and while she shrieked (quietly) for him to stop he pulled back and flung her to slide all the way down the corridor, her socks providing no friction against the shiny wood.
“Dabi!” She (quietly) screamed as she scrabbled to a stop.
“What? It’s fun!” Dabi slid down the hall to come up beside her.
Fuyumi retaliated by trying to push him over and the two of them grappled for a long moment before they heard the sound of other tourists coming down the hall at which point they separated and did their best to look like two upstanding members of society.
“So, you’re worried you’re settling?” Dabi prompted as they continued to walk.
Fuyumi shrugged, “It’s not so much settling… it’s more that I…. I was sitting in my flat and I had a sudden thought that this was going to be the rest of my life. And that was… uncomfortable.”
“Ahhh. Yeah, that checks out. Well Yumi when it comes to rethinking your life path you’ve come to the right place. Tell nii-san what you would love to do with your life if you could anything?”
Fuyumi frowned and then ended up shaking her head, “I don’t know.”
“Well… that’s unhelpful.”
“Shut up! You’re the big brother aren’t you? Give me some advice.”
“Aren’t I the problem child? Why’re you asking me for advice?”
“Don’t even with that attitude, the problem child is obviously Natsuo.”
“Wait what. I mean… yeah true but also… really?”
“Yes really.”
“Huh.”
“You’re financially independent, own your own property, have a stable long-term boyfriend that you just said you would marry, take supplements everyday, don’t drink or smoke or do any kind of substances, you also-”
“Oh f*ck me you’re making me sound like such a f*cking loser.”
“How does living well make you a loser?”
There was a pause. “Alright, I concede on that. You got me.”
“Honestly.” Fuyumi huffed, “I’ve always thought that as long as you’re enjoying your life it’s all okay. Who cares if you stay in every weekend or don’t drink? As long as that’s what you personally want to do then how could you be a loser?”
“It’s at moments like this that I can really tell you work with kids.”
“Screw you!”
“C’mon Yumi, not even a f*ck you? Say it once, a nice strong f*ck you.”
“f*ck you.”
“Whoa that was- huh, okay cool. No hesitation from you.”
Fuyumi rolled her eyes, “You really think you’re the only person alive allowed to say f*ck don’t you?”
“Not f*cking true at all, our problem child Natsuo is almost as bad as I am.”
“So you agree that he’s the problem child?”
“Ehh… in terms of the wider world then no, but in comparison to you and Shouto then yeah 100% though Shouto is actually an idiot and only safe because his terrible karma from childhood has now decided to pay him back. I still find your assessment of me rude and unnecessary though.”
“You mean me listing some very true facts about you?”
“Let’s go back to your f*cking life, enough about me.” Dabi coughed, “So… you don’t know what you want to do with your life but you know it’s not what you’re doing right now?”
“Mm.”
“And you don’t want to marry Haru but you don’t want to break up with him either?”
“The thought of breaking up with him makes me want to throw up.” Fuyumi did look a little pale.
“What did you say when he proposed?”
“I said I didn’t want to get married so young because of… mother and everything with our parents' own marriage.”
“Okay… is that true or is it just the best excuse of all time.”
Fuyumi made a face, “It’s not not true.”
“But it’s not completely true either.”
“It is young though? Right? I’m barely twenty-five!”
“True true. Though that’s not such a wildly unmarriageable age. Remember, past twenty-five and you’ll be a Christmas cake.”
Fuyumi shoved him, “f*ck you.”
“You’re coming on way too heavy with the f*ck yous now. Calm down.”
Fuyumi narrowed her eyes, “f*ck.” She stopped for a devastating pause, “You.”
“I have nothing to say to that.”
“I don’t know what to do with my life.” Fuyumi said, she suddenly seemed to be veering into some bad emotions, “I feel so… I don’t even know. How could I say no to Haru? We’ve been together for almost five years. Five years! That’s half a decade! And who cares if he doesn’t know how to do laundry or wipe down the countertops after using the kitchen. He’s been there for me when I’ve been a mess and he knows all about our family and all of that and he’s still stuck around. How could I ever break up with him?”
“Uh so look, I get loyalty okay. Great thing to have, f*cking top grade in a relationship if you got it but…I dunno if that’s the best reason to stay with someone.”
“Haru and I have worked for what we have. The thought of having to go and meet someone else and get to know them and spend five years getting comfortable makes me want to throw up.”
“It sounds like a lot of things trigger your acid reflux.”
“But aren’t I too young to get married? Once I do it’s just like… that’s it. And my life is done.”
“Done in what f*cking sense?”
“I don’t even know, but doesn’t it feel so final?”
“Sounds like you’re dealing with a f*cking fear of commitment and I never thought I would say that.”
“Neither did I.” Fuyumi let out a great heaving sigh, “How did I get to this point?”
“By being way too responsible at way too young an age?”
“Ha ha.” Fuyumi looked incredibly sullen, “How are you not afraid of commitment?”
“Uh.. it’s not- I mean in what way?”
“You don’t seem to be scared of committing with Hawks.”
“I think that’s just Hawks. Like it’s Hawks y’know?”
“I really don’t.” Fuyumi raised an eyebrow, “Saying “It’s Hawks” doesn’t answer anything.”
Dabi rolled his eyes, “You’re so f*cking annoying. I mean… Hawks is the best right? Like he’s great, I don’t f*cking know who else could match him if anyone so… yeah. Like it’s him y’know. Look me in the f*cking eye and try to tell me Hawks isn’t worth it.”
Fuyumi ignored that last sentence, “So you’re saying that you’re not afraid of commitment because it’s specifically Hawks you’re committing to?”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“So you’re saying that because I’m scared of committing to Haru it means I don’t like him that much?”
“Jesus no. That’s not what I’m f*cking saying at all. Don’t put f*cking words in my mouth. Look, I’m older than you too, right? And for most of my life I thought I would die. Yeah it sounds f*cking morbid but my point is that I don’t have all these societal expectations and y’know, f*cking timelines on what my life should look like. Like I never really gave a sh*t about getting married or having kids or a career or whatever. It’s way more than enough that I’m alive and having a pretty good time. Hawks somehow works amongst all this and he’s great, so why not?”
“I suppose so.” Fuyumi didn’t sound convinced.
“Well I dunno, I guess we never really discussed this as kids but you did want to get married and have kids right?”
“Mm.”
“Okay yeah, well look at that. If there’s one piece of wisdom I have to impart on you it’s this,” Dabi cleared this throat and put what he likely thought was a comforting brotherly hand on Fuyumi’s shoulder, “The sh*t that you really want, it never feels as good getting it as you expect it to. The best feeling is when you get something you weren’t expecting. So yeah.”
Fuyumi considered it, “That’s not terrible advice.”
“Yeah well that’s all I got in me. Don’t ask for more.”
“I still think that’s not true though. The whole “you only fall in love if you’re not expecting it”.”
“I mean yeah, I guess.”
“Falling in love is a choice.” Fuyumi said decisively, “You don’t just get blindsided by it.”
Dabi shrugged, “I think it means more that if you’re not looking you don’t have any expectations, therefore it’s easier for you to accept what’s in front of you.”
“What if what’s in front of you isn’t good enough?”
“Then since you weren’t looking for love you won’t go for it, duh.”
“Ugh my head hurts thinking about all of this.” Fuyumi groaned, “I literally feel sick to my stomach when I think about the future.”
“You really need to deal with your f*cking stomach issues.”
“Nii-san!”
“Okay okay! What d’ya want me to say? You don’t want to marry Haru but you don’t want to break up with him. Fine! As long as he’s cool with it and you’re cool with it, what's the issue?”
“Weddings are so much work.” Fuyumi continued as if she hadn’t heard anything Dabi had said. “I don’t even want to think about having to organise one.”
“Elope.”
“I don’t even know if I want to get married at all!” Fuyumi then fixed Dabi with a glare, “You better not elope though, I want to be there.”
“I have no hard plans to get married in any shape or form. Like f*ck me, we were talking hypotheticals.”
“Yeah.” Fuyumi sighed, “Is it selfish to hold Haru on edge until I’m ready?”
“It’s not like you’re keeping him as a backup while you look for a better guy, like you do want to be with him, you’re just not ready for marriage. That’s not that deep.”
“But am I not ready for marriage because I’m not actually all for him?”
Dabi sucked in a breath through his teeth, “That’s a tough one, I actually don’t know. It’s about you not him at the end of the day, I think you’d feel this way even if you were with someone else but… I dunno. I actually don’t know. f*ck!” Dabi groaned, “I’m getting a headache, can you just sort your sh*t out so my brain stops feeling like you’re putting it in a blender?”
“Think about how I feel!” Fuyumi glared, “Haru was so upset when I miscarried, I think it suddenly hit him then that we could have a baby and he really wanted that, he’d be a good father. He really would and I feel… sometimes I feel like I’m betraying him because it seems like I’m no longer the person I used to be when we got together. When we got together it was like forever instantly and all I wanted was to settle down.”
“You just wanted stability.” Dabi surmises.
“Yes and now… I feel so restless and I’m ruining all his plans for the future by being this way.”
“I mean… yes?” Dabi doesn’t equivocate, “But you’re allowed to change, that’s not a crime. It’s sh*tty for him but it would be sh*ttier if you stayed and started to resent him. Compromise isn’t always the best thing.”
“Mm.” Fuyumi seemed to think about something before continuing, “I’m thinking of going back to University.”
“Oh sh*t, really?”
“I want to do a masters. And then… I don’t know but maybe.. I might even do a year abroad. I want to live somewhere else, just for a bit.”
“Oh wow. Damn that’s… yeah. Why f*cking not? I’ll give you the league’s contact, if you’re abroad at least you won’t be alone though you’ll probably wish you were.”
Fuyumi shoved at him again.
“Look,” Dabi rubbed at his head over his cap, “It’s not such a big deal. Life goes on and sh*t, you gotta put yourself first because at the end of the day it’s just your life. Besides, even if you do hurt Haru you can get him to forgive you. Trust me. As long as you’re not being a sad*stic f*ck it’ll be alright.”
“You think so?”
“You need to do what you need to do before you become an even bigger asshole by doing it. If you don’t do it now when it’s relatively painless the desire won’t go away and then you’ll be fifty, uprooting your life.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re a pretty good person at heart.” Dabi felt like he had to say something vaguely nice after all of that, “And no matter what happens, even if you act like a complete asshole you’ve still got us. There are things in this life that no matter what you do, you can’t f*cking lose. Trust me, I’ve tried. I’ve done it all and look at us now.”
Fuyumi smiled properly this time, “That’s true.” She looked a little more cheerful but still troubled, “When you say something you can never take it back.” She said, “And people don’t forget, I don’t want to say anything to Haru until I’m sure. I don’t want to yank him around or hurt him if it’s for no reason.”
“I get that, but after everything, I have to say that he’s a good guy too. I get you don’t want to hurt him, but maybe you should talk. Not everything including the bits where you’re not sure if he’s the one or whatever but you should talk to him about how you’re doing and what you want to do next.”
“That’s… good advice.”
“Didn’t you come to me for a f*cking reason?”
“I did, thank you. I’m really… glad you’re my brother.”
“Yeah?”
“Mm.”
Dabi didn’t think he’d ever (even if he had the inclination to) be able to put into words how much that meant to him.
*
HIROSHIMA AND THE ATOMIC BOMB MEMORIAL
Fuyumi stared straight ahead at the crumbling remains of the building.
Natsuo scuffed the ground with his shoe, “I can’t believe how long it’s survived. The Second World War was pre-quirk.”
Fuyumi nodded and then suddenly sniffed loudly.
“sh*t. Are you crying?” Dabi asked a little incredulously.
Fuyumi shook her head, “No. Just a little choked up.” She kept her eyes locked on the brick, “You learn about war in school but I can’t imagine… two whole cities were practically vaporised.”
Dabi shrugged, “That’s the way war is. Japan f*cked up other countries too.”
“Yes I know. I know.” Fuyumi bit her lip, “But it’s just…”
“War is terrible.” Shouto says solemnly, “It’s impossible to ever be correct in war. No matter what you’ll always end up being wrong.”
“The cycle of hatred, huh?” Natsuo said faux lightly, “I mean, I just- how do we get over sh*t like this? Standing here, thinking about everyone that died, all the innocent people, how do you move on? How does war ever end?”
“I mean every country is wrong so it’s not like there’re easy victims and stuff.” Dabi contributed.
Fuyumi shook her head, “But these were all just ordinary civilians. They weren’t soldiers, they weren’t given a chance to say if they wanted war or not, decisions were just made and they paid the price for them.”
Natsuo sucked on his teeth, “I guess that’s just the way it is. Not to be too morbid or anything but isn’t it always the weak that pay for the decisions of the powerful?”
“Then it’s up to those in power to make sure they don’t have to.” Shouto said firmly and for a second in summer sun that peeked out behind the clouds his hair seemed to sparkle.
Dabi hummed, “Then how do people move on. If they vaporise your whole family how do you get past it?”
Shouto tilted his head to the side as he considered it. It was one of the things Fuyumi loved about Shouto, every time he was asked a question he considered it carefully and gave thought and weight to his answer. He answered questions like he cared.
“You have to move on and forgive.” Shouto said simply, “It’s not easy and it’s not immediate but hatred hurts people.”
“How about a more realistic approach?” Dabi questioned, “Just for the few among us not blessed with sainthood?”
Shouto smiled, “Avoid whatever it is you hate and keep busy with other things.” He shrugged, “It worked for me.”
That got a laugh from Natsuo and Dabi.
Fuyumi hummed in response and looped her arm through Dabi’s, leaning against her big brother as she continued to stare up at the Atomic Bomb Memorial Dome. Even as a kid she would never have believed that what she had now was possible. Touya was dead, Natsuo was gone, her parents were… not around and Shouto spoke less than a word a day.
But now she considers that maybe the impossible things like setting aside hatred and the insane act of forgiveness… maybe if this impossibility in their own family had happened then greater impossibilities could occur.
It’s hard but… she has her very own proof in front of her of how those impossible things aren’t so impossible after all.
*
f*ckUOKA
“Hawks bro!” Natsuo grinned and grabbed Hawks who laughed and graciously hugged him back.
“The Todogang is all here! C’mon in guys!” They were currently standing in Hawks’ supremely fancy apartment block parking garage and were summarily ushered by Hawks to the lifts, “It’s so cool you guys are here! I prepped my guest room so two of you guys can take that and the remaining one gets the couch, or the couch could probably sleep two depending.”
“I want the couch.” Shouto announced.
“You haven’t even seen the couch.” Dabi said caustically.
Shouto just shrugged, “If it’s anything like Hawks’ couch in Tokyo it’ll be good.”
“It’s pretty similar.” Hawks admitted.
“Then I’ll take the couch with baby bro.” Natsuo slung an arm around Shouto’s shoulders, “Yumi you take the guest room and we’ll leave the happy couple to their own devices.” He winked at Dabi who proceeded to punch him in the shoulder. Natsuo retaliated and as usual they started roughhousing right there in the elevator.
Fuyumi sighed, “Every time.” She muttered.
Hawks watched with abject fascination, “Dabi’s normally better at fighting than this.” He commented to Shouto as Dabi failed to block Natsuo’s kick to his ankle.
Shouto nodded, “Apparently they used to fight as kids too. Dabi isn’t being serious.”
“Huh.” Hawks looked intrigued by the concept.
“Just let them tire each other out, that’s what we usually do.” Fuyumi added.
The next second the lift dinged to a stop and Natsuo and Dabi all but fell out when the doors opened.
“Oof.” Natsuo groaned before taking a proper look around, “Holy f*ck nii-san, you really hit the jackpot. You better be prepared to put out for your sugar daddy, is that a hot-tub?”
“Sugar daddy?” Squawked Hawks at the same time as Shouto’s snort of amusem*nt.
“Like I said, just ignore it.” Fuyumi advised as she and Shouto wheeled their suitcases out of the lift.
“Ugh what a piece of sh*t.” Dabi turned a pout to his boyfriend, “Help me up?”
“I gotchu.” Hawks grabbed Dabi’s hand and levered him off the ground where he’d collapsed in a pitiful heap thanks to Natsuo.
“You sure you’re cool with my objectively terrible family staying here?” Dabi asked, “Last chance to back out.”
“I swear it’s okay like I’ve said for the fiftieth time.” Hawks assured as he led Dabi the familiar route to the kitchen.
Dabi shrugged, “It’s your funeral, Shouto’s gonna steal your clothes, Natsuo’s gonna drink all your alcohol and Fuyumi… she’ll probably try to do your laundry and meal prep for you.”
“See, that doesn’t sound too bad.”
“Hmmm, but you like my cooking better right?” Dabi leaned in and Hawks beamed.
“Of course baby.” Hawks went to the fridge to retrieve Dabi’s requisite smoothie, “Here you go.”
“You’re the best.” Dabi said with feeling as he began sucking it down.
“You know it.”
They chilled in the kitchen for a bit while listening to the increasingly loud sounds of Dabi’s terrible siblings rampaging through Hawks’ obnoxiously nice penthouse.
“It’s nice having people around.” Hawks finally said after a particularly loud shout that could have only come from Natsuo.
“Well now that they’re here you might never be able to get rid of them.” Dabi warned though it seemed to have fallen flat judging by the way Hawks was still smiling.
*
“We should all get matching tattoos.” Natsuo declared with more than a little mania behind his expression.
Dabi and Fuyumi shared a look.
“Look, this breakup is obviously f*cking with you and yeah getting a haircut and whatever is normal behaviour but don’t you think a tattoo is a little much?” Dabi pointed out.
Natsuo gave a truly ferocious scowl, “What breakup? I’m not even thinking about that! I mean a road trip memorial tattoo.”
Shouto delicately shifted Natsuo’s mostly finished drink away from him which made Fuyumi smile approvingly and then immediately lose that expression when Shouto passed him his own full glass.
“I wouldn’t mind getting a tattoo.” Shouto chimed in.
“What would you even get it of?” Dabi asked with some incredulity, “You’ve never mentioned any tattoo aspirations before.
Shouto shrugged, “I don’t know. But I’m having fun so I wouldn’t mind also getting a road trip memorial tattoo and I could match with Natsu-nii.”
“Knew I could count on you baby bro.” Natsuo swung an arm around Shouto’s shoulders.
“Whatcha guys talking about?” Hawks asked, coming out onto the balcony with fresh drinks that Natsuo made grabby hands at.
“We’re all going to get matching tattoos.” Shouto declared.
Hawks blinked in that bird-like way of his and looked to Dabi for guidance. His boyfriend graced him with a truly impressive eye roll.
“Okay, that sounds… cool.” Hawks settled on. He had his diplomatic voice on.
“It sounds impulsive.” Fuyumi pointed out.
“Not as impulsive as our beloved big bro setting himself on fire and running away.” Natsu snarked.
Dabi rolled his eyes, “Oi. You can’t use that against me. My brain was melting.”
Shouto sipped delicately at his beer. He then burped rather indelicately. Fuyumi sighed and looked away in disgust.
“Okay fine fine my tattoo idea isn’t getting the reception it deserves so… how about a drinking game. C’mon guys.” Natsuo spread his arms wide, “Who’s in?”
“We played truth or dare at Ashido’s house that one time.” Shouto said, “It ended up being a slightly uncomfortable when I told them mother gave me my scar. I probably should have kept that to myself.”
Dabi’s shoulders were shaking with laugher. “Slightly uncomfortable.” He wheezed, “What the f*ck.”
“Well no danger of that kind of thing happening now.” Natuso quickly butted in to say, “The only things that’ll come out if we play truth or dare is the fun sh*t that should come out when playing this kind of game.”
“I don’t know about truth or dare.” Fuyumi said, “I’m too comfortable to get up and do dares.” She did indeed look very comfortable sunk into her seat with her legs crossed.
“Let’s do question or shot.” Dabi suggested, “Answer or take a shot, in this case a drink and in my case… nothing.”
“So give you a natural advantage?” Natsuo narrowed his eyes, “Not on your f*cking life.”
“How about I promise I’ll answer?”
“Or how about Dabi gets three passes and once they’re used up he can’t dodge answering anymore.”
“Yumi, sh*t that’s-“
“Perfect.” Natsuo finished, “Let’s do it.”
“Fine asshole, but I get to ask mine first.” Dabi turned to Hawks, “You got tequila?”
“Unfortunately not but,” And here Hawks got up and walked over to the kitchen before coming back with an almost unreasonable amount of flair he revealed the toxic waste green bottle in his hands, “I do have four bottles of this.”
Dabi squinted, “Is that Modori?”
Fuyumi gasped, “My favourite!”
Hawks winked at her, “As it should be.”
Dabi turned to Shouto, “Why do I feel like the third wheel here?”
“I can’t believe you remembered!” Fuyumi said with enthusiasm, “Hawks you’re- oh come here!” And she was hugging him hard.
“What the hell? I don’t get this kind of treatment.” Dabi muttered.
“The smoothies.” Shouto reminded him.
Dabi didn’t bother to respond.
Fuyumi, on the other hand, suddenly seemed to have gained a whole new interest in drinking that wasn’t present before.
“Do you have ice?” She asked, portioning the bright green liquer into four glasses, “I used to drink this all the time in University!”
“Straight Midori?” Dabi looked at Fuyumi glass, “That’s kinda weird.”
Fuyumi rolled her eyes, “Melon balls! Vodka, midori and orange juice. That’s how we used to make it. Hawks?”
“I got the goods.” Hawks produced a bottle of orange juice and then one of vodka. “I thought about getting a co*cktail shaker but-”
“No need!” Fuyumi said decisively, “Just a rough pour is fine. I need ice though.”
“I’m on it!” Hawks disappeared off to the kitchen.
“Melon balls… that does sound really good.” Natsuo conceded, “Okay, bottoms up!” He then downed his whole glass.
“Natsuo!” Fuyumi sounded scandalised, “It’s not a shooter! I didn’t even put the mixers in yet!”
Natsuo licked his lips, “Not bad.” He said, “Tastes like a shooter, kinda sweet.”
Shouto took a sip and wrinkled his nose, “It tastes like cough syrup.”
“You have to put mixers in!” Fuyumi sighed, “So impatient.”
Hawks came back and spotted Natsuo’s empty glass, “Damn, that was fast.”
Natsuo grinned and leaned back in his chair, “Pretty much the only area where I’m fast.”
“Ew!” Fuyumi exclaimed.
Dabi groaned in agony and put his head in his hands.
“I don’t get it.” Shouto said.
“I keep the ladies satisfied, if you know what I’m saying.” Natsuo grinned.
“No I don’t.”
Hawks had sat down at this point, “Can I ask the first question?” He asked Dabi, completely ignoring that whole exchange.
Dabi shrugged, “Fine with me.”
“Okay, so Natsuo.” Hawks reached across the table to refill Natsuo’s glass after which Fuyumi quickly dumped in an appropriate amount of vodka and orange juice before Natsuo could get his hands on it, “How many people have you hooked up with this summer? I’m curious.”
“Ooof.” Natsuo huffed as he picked up his glass, “Not that many. Like not like a crazy amount. Seven I think?”
“That’s a lot.” Fuyumi said with judgement.
“Are you slu*t shaming me? f*cking rude Yumi. Fine I’m asking,” Natsuo turned to Fuyumi, “What’s your body count?”
Fuyumi sniffed, “Two.”
Natsuo nodded, “Okay. I already regret asking. No further details needed. Thank-”
“Though I do wonder,” Fuyumi sighed, “I mean, do you all ever think… I do love Haru. So much. I’d never break up with him over something like sex but I do get curious sometimes about other people. Do you guys ever feel that way?”
Natsuo blinked, “I think we’re reaching a level of closeness I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable with.” He then took a deep drink.
“I don’t feel that way.” Shouto said serenely. He then took a sip of his drink and made a face, “It doesn’t taste that much like melon.”
“You’re kidding? It’s so melony.” Natsuo took a sip of his, “Super sweet.”
Fuyumi huffed, “Is no one going to engage with me?”
“I dunno Yumi, isn’t this more a question for your girlfriends? I’m living with deep heartbreak right now.” Natsuo said shamelessly, “I can’t answer any relationship questions. f*ck love, it’s all bullsh*t. What’s the f*cking point, I’m over it.”
There was silence for a second. Shouto took a sip of his drink and looked around. Finally Dabi made a strangled groan of assent to getting involved.
“Okay f*ck it, I’ll throw my hat in the ring.” Dabi sighed and took a sip of his smoothie, “Depends how you’re looking at a relationship. Like sure, most people think sex is really f*cking important but dating is basically just being friends with extra society perks.” He shrugged, “If you think Haru is life-partner type sh*t then sex is kinda a dud.”
“I respectfully disagree.” Natsuo said with gravitas, putting his cup down none to gently on the table, “Sex is really f*cking important. It’s something that you only do with one special person, it makes the relationship you have different from every other relationship in your life. It’s super f*cking intimate.”
“Says the guy who's been sleeping his way through this road trip.” Dabi snarked.
“I’m not saying casual sex is like the f*cking best but it’s good okay. Its physical, like working out, just because you’re not doing it with your regular coach doesn’t mean it can’t feel good. It can even be really good. I’m just saying why sex is important in relationships.”
“First of all,” Dabi started, “Are you saying you have sex with your sports coaches cuz that sounds sus as f*ck-”
“Obviously not asshole! You know what I f*cking meant, stop being so annoying.”
“Secondly,” Dabi continued, unheeding of Natsuo’s comment, “You can be f*cking intimate without having sex.”
“Yeah sure, but sex is the easiest way. Like,” Natsuo spread his hands out as if to physically illustrate something. What exactly, no one knew, “You can’t really front doing sex, like obviously you can but the way you feel is out of your control. At the end of the day you’re naked with another person and doing something that just feels good for the both of you. No ulterior motives, just plain old physical feeling, now what can you say about that?”
“I can say a lot of sh*t.” Dabi immediately answered, “And it’s a shortcut to intimacy, not the real deal. There’s only one way to get close to someone and it’s the old f*cking fashioned way: spending sh*t tons of time with them and listening to them talk about bullsh*t. Acting like sex is gonna suddenly bond you to someone is dumb, it’s all fake. Time is the only thing that works.”
Natsuo threw up his hands, “My argument isn’t even bad or anything! Stop acting like I’m just saying something really controversial and sh*tty by me saying that I think sex is important in romantic relationships and this is a view held by, uh I dunno, maybe like ninety percent of the f*cking planet? I get there are people who don’t give a f*ck about sex and don’t want to have it, I’m not coming for them, but to me I can’t have a romantic relationship without sex, it’s a vital part of it. Being intimate is nice and sex feels good. Plus knowing the both of you are in it together is nice too.”
“I would like to add something,” Fuyumi piped up, “I think with sex there’s a lot of trust involved which creates that intense intimacy that Natsuo you’re talking about. You’re trusting a person not to hurt you physically or even say something that could hurt you while you’re very vulnerable. After all, how many people will you allow to see you naked in your lifetime?”
“Onsen?” Hawks suggested.
Fuyumi laughed, “Of course, but how many in an intimate setting?”
“At least seven in Natsuo’s case.” Shouto felt the need to add.
“Oi.” Natsuo ruffled his hair.
“My point is that it’s the trust that makes it intimate and in many ways special.”
“You can also learn a lot about someone by having sex with them.” Natsuo argued back, “Actions speak louder than words, that’s a fact. You can’t fake it.”
“Sure you can, people do it all the time. If sex is physical then isn’t it the easiest thing in the world to fake?” Dabi leaned back.
“Well yes, but also… no. I mean- if you’re faking it then you should really take a look at yourself and wonder why.” Natsuo challenged, “It’s not meant to be faked.”
“Faking it is for all kinds of reasons, to make your partner feel good, to make you feel good, to make the whole experience more pleasant, to make money, to validate yourself, to-”
“Your ideas on sex and intimacy are so f*cked up.” Natsuo said with not a little judgement.
“I’m just speaking the truth, this is the world we live in.” Dabi looked really rather too calm considering how dark what he had just said was.
Fuyumi bit her lip, “He’s not wrong.” She hedged.
“What?! No Yumi not you too! I thought you actually liked Haru!”
“I’m not making a point about Haru specifically.” Fuyumi sighed, “This is exactly why I try not to talk about things with my girlfriends which is annoying because I feel like the older we get and the more… serious things get the less we talk which, how does that make sense? It’s just that I love Haru and I don’t want anyone to say a bad word about him. However I feel, if he’s annoying me one day or… or breaks my favourite mug, that’s all temporary within the fact that I still love him. I don’t want to talk about him because that’s what people will remember and how they’ll see our relationship which isn’t what I want.”
Natuso wrinkled his nose, “I don’t get it.”
“That’s because you’re so immature!”
“Hey! Don’t be so rude I-”
“Yumi, what point are you making?” Dabi cut in before the conversation could run away from them again.
Natsuo turned an aggrieved expression on Shouto who clinked their glasses in sympathy.
“My point,” Fuyumi says with gravity, “Is that faking things is just a part of a relationship, a part of any relationship including even friendships. You can’t be honest and open all of the time, it’s just uncomfortable for everyone involved. And back to the intimacy point, sometimes someone you love might want to try something in the bedroom that you aren’t interested in, but if it’s not super off putting you’ll do it because that’s a nice thing to do for them.”
“I dunno,” Natsuo shook his head, “I think I’d be pretty offput if I suggested something that I was super into and my girl hated it and just went through the motions for me.”
Fuyumi raised an eyebrow, “They wouldn’t be “going through the motions”. They’d be faking it. They wouldn’t be acting as though they hated it.”
“No girl has ever faked anything with me.”
Dabi coughed into his fist while Fuyumi’s arch look just became even more severe, “Right.” She sounded deeply unconvinced.
“What the hell guys?! I really disagree with both of you right now, like I don’t know where you got such terrible and dark views on the world, well actually now that I say that… anyways, my point is why the hell are the two of you so cynical? It’s f*cking depressing.”
“You’re actually a massive romantic,” Dabi suddenly said to Natsuo, “You really believe in the power of love and all that sh*t.”
“Look, I don’t know what to tell you two downers but if I loved someone I’d want to do the sh*t they were into because if they’re into it and it’s them it would be pretty hot. Obviously there’s stuff I’m really not into but seeing someone you love having a great time because of you, that’s a good feeling. No faking necessary.”
“What if they wanted to pee on you?” Shouto suddenly asked.
“Whoa what the f*ck? Baby bro, where the heck did that come from?!”
“It was in a movie I watched,” Shouto explains.
“Was it a movie or was it just p*rn?” Dabi asked, “Be f*cking for real.”
Hawks burbled a laugh and unfortunately drew everyone’s attention to him.
“Would you let Dabi pee on you?” Natsuo asked with absolutely no mercy. “That’s my question, we’re still playing by the way.”
“Uh… I would really have to think about that…”
“You wouldn’t let me pee on you?” Dabi made an absolutely fake face of disappointment, “Damn birdbrain, I thought you liked me.”
“I wouldn’t let you just randomly pee on me.” Hawks protested, “Like what the hell is that? Why would you even randomly want to do that?”
“Does it matter why they want to pee on you?” Fuyumi suddenly asked, “If it’s for non-sexual reasons why does that make it worse?”
“Because then it’s just gross.” Natsuo answered promptly.
“And not gross when it’s during sex?”
“At least then they’re getting something out of it.” Dabi offered, “Like with sex the motive is getting off which is nicer than if they were peeing on you because they wanted to humiliate you. It’s about trust or intimacy or f*cking whatever.”
“Isn’t peeing on someone kinda BDSM adjacent or something?” Natsuo reached for his phone, “Lemme look it up.”
“You are not doing that.” Fuyumi slapped the hand that was reaching for his phone, “All that’ll end up in your search is p*rn and I refuse to be in the same room as you while you watch p*rn on your phone.”
“For educational purposes.” Natsuo tried to say.
“No.” Fuyumi was unyielding.
“What’s your BDSM point?” Dabi asked Natsuo.
“Well, isn’t BDSM about like power dynamics and humiliation and stuff? So then peeing on someone, it’s ultimately kinda to humiliate them.”
“There’s a difference between them wanting to humiliate you because it gets them off vs. because they just want to do it because they like upsetting you.” Dabi said before groaning and rubbing his eyes, “What the f*ck are we even talking about? Are any of us actually into that sh*t enough to answer these questions?”
“Y’know.” Natsuo looked thoughtful, “I would actually be fine with my girl peeing on me if she was really into it, as long as it’s like watery pee not like super marinated pee. Besides, bodily fluids aren’t that big a deal to me, d’you guys wanna know how much pee I’ve had to handle in my life?”
“No! Why did you feel the need to tell us that?” Fuyumi asked, putting her head in her hands a little overdramatically.
“I think the difference is intention.” Hawks piped up to add, neatly sidestepping Natsuo’s rendition of “every time I’ve had to touch pee”, “If they’re doing something to humiliate you but underneath they care about you and it’s done within whatever agreed sexual or non-sexual thing you have then that’s one thing. If they’re doing it because they just want to make you upset with no care then that’s another thing.”
“Huh, I agree.” Natsuo nodded slowly, “Good point man.”
“And that’s enough for this conversation.” Dabi said firmly, “I’m f*cking done with it anyway. God, why can’t we just play a drinking game like normal people. This game was dumb anyway.”
“What about deepest darkest secret?” Shouto suddenly asked.
“What? What’s that?” Natsuo was refilling his glass and topped up Fuyumi’s while he was at it.
“It’s the game he played with the league one time.”
“Oh?” Hawks looks intrigued, “That time you were really hungover?”
“No, different time.”
“How often do you hang out with these guys?” Natsuo asked, “You make it sound like it's all business meetings but I dunno about that.”
“The game that Shou’s talking about is the most f*cking batsh*t game of all time. It’s not even a game it’s just weird and invasive.”
“I’m liking the sound of this more and more.”
“We’re not f*cking playing deepest darkest secret.” Dabi said firmly, “End of. It’s not even a real game, just an excuse to be lazy. If you wanna learn deep sh*t about people you gotta get them to open up slowly over a long f*cking period of time. That’s normal.”
Natsuo snorted, “That’s how I know you’ve never been to University, all you do in the first few weeks is drink and share sh*t about yourself. It’s a real bonding experience.”
“Huh.” Hawks looked thoughtful, “Really?”
“Yeah, you never went did you man? Well, lemme level with you. It’s like a fever dream. So much weird sh*t happened in the first few years that it was all considered normal at the time, like the bar was on the floor.” Natsuo gestured rapidly and almost knocked over Shouto’s glass if not for his fast reflexes, “Like I remember one time we dared Takashi to,” And then Natsuo snorted, “f*ck this story is a mess, okay okay lemme start from the very beginning. There’s a lot of context to this.”
Fuyumi sighed, “Why are these stories all about Takashi?”
“I swear he’s lived about ten different lives already. You know one time he left uni for a week and no one knew where he was and it turned out that he was chatting to this guy in Hokkaido and wanted to see him but didn’t have the money to afford a train ticket so he hitchhiked there, it took him two weeks in total but he did it for free. How wicked is that?”
Dabi looked slightly impressed, “That’s pretty cool.” He allowed, “He do stuff like that a lot?”
“Does he ever.” Fuyumi sighed, “The number of stories I’ve heard about this boy over the years. I don’t understand how he’s still alive.”
Dabi looked even more interested, “Tell me more.”
“Damn nii-san I had no idea Takashi of all people would impress you, though I guess that makes sense considering you’ve also lived about thirty different lives up to now. Well lemme tell you guys about the time he went to Australia and got lost in the Outback for three weeks. He was in the news and everything!”
Somehow the recounting of stories about Takashi’s life ended up taking the rest of the day, well into the evening which ostensibly meant it was dinner time and well, if no tattoo shops were open after they had finished their food there was really nothing to be done about that.
*
“Hey! You’re wearing my cap!” Hawks looked very pleased.
Dabi blinked and put a hand to his hat, “Huh, I guess so. You want it back?” He took it off and tried to hand it to Hawks who gave him a look of such intense outrage Dabi felt somehow rather disquieted.
“You can’t give it back!”
“I swear you’ve asked for it back like five times before.”
“That was before we got together, now you have to keep it. One of my sidekicks was talking about how they steal their boyfriend’s clothes all the time. It’s a thing.”
“f*cking weirdo.” But Dabi puts the hat back on.
“It’s a relationship thing, sharing clothes. You double your wardrobe basically. Very economical.”
“I am not f*cking taking anything else of yours. Especially not that ugly f*cking jacket. Plus we’re different sizes.”
“Hey! The jacket is cool. All the tabloids said so.” Hawks fluffed his hair rather dramatically.
“It’s hideous. The only reason I don’t call you out more often is that I can’t f*cking talk.” Dabi gestured to his hoodie. He was wearing a classic: the one he had stolen from that random woman’s flat.
“I dunno,” Hawks co*cked his head consideringly, “I think you’ve got a lil’ something something, the tabloids think so anyway.”
“Ha f*cking ha.”
“Seriously, I always liked this hoodie. Don’t you-”
“Guys! I’m ready to go!” Natsuo bounded into the entry brandishing his phone, “Rina’s cousin is hooking us up, his friend’s having a party at this bar and then they’re going to karaoke which is where we’ll meet them and then later they’re gonna go to a club, apparently someone they know is DJing and Rian's promised me they're good. Sucks she won't be there though.”
“I thought we were going for dinner.” Shouto said as he emerged from where he had been half-asleep on the couch. (As per usual.)
“We are, and then we’re going out.”
“I’m exhausted.” Fuyumi complained as she heaved herself up from where she was lying sprawled on a different couch. She pouted dramatically as Natsuo grinned winsomely at her.
“Get a few beers and you and you’ll feel a world of better sis.” Natsuo slung an arm around her shoulders, “Trust me.”
“Who’s Rina?” Hawks asked since no one else seemed to be asking.
“Friend from University.Though fun fact, we actually hooked up a little in first year. Not serious or anything cuz she had just broken up with her highschool boyfriend at the time. We lost touch once I started seeing Kiyoko but I remembered that she’s originally from f*ckuoka so I thought, hey why not hit her up. She’s not in town but she hooked me up with her cousin.”
“Right.” Fuyumi said, raising an eyebrow, “And what kind of reconnection were you thinking?”
“Slander Yumi.” Natsuo said cheerfully, “Besides, she’s not even in f*ckuoka right now. She’s away with her girlfriends, they’re in Okinawa actually which sounds lit as hell and judging by the pics she sent somewhere we should definitely go next.”
“Forget all of that.” Dabi waved a hand as if to physically cut off this useless part of the conversation, “We’re getting to the bar after they’ve already been there for a while right? How much of a hero fan is this cousin?”
“Uh… dunno, they’ll already be wasted when we get there no doubt but I dunno about the hero fan question, I didn’t ask?”
Dabi gives Hawks a quick up and down, “Without the wings you’ll be good.” He decides, “Now I’m f*cking starving, can we go eat already?”
“Yeah yeah you’re always hungry.” Natsuo muttered, “Does anyone have any mints or anything? I can pick some up if we don’t.”
“I have some breath spray in my bag.” Fuyumi said, patting her bag, “And some breath strips.”
“Perf, Yumi pulls through again as usual.”
Fuyumi did smile appreciatively at that comment. “Alright, so what do we need to know about the group we’re meeting later?”
“Okay so-”
Natsuo’s narration continued all the way to dinner and then through ordering before everyone finally felt as though they’d milked that conversation topic enough to move on to other topics.
*
“YEAAAAAAAAH.” Cheered Rina’s cousin as Fuyumi finished belting out the final verse, “AMAZING!”
Fuyumi beamed, tucking some hair behind her ear, “It was alright.” She demurred.
“I swear I haven’t heard anyone sing Anzen Chitai that well since Anzen Chitai.” Rina’s cousin enthused.
“Wow. A one hit K.O.” Dabi muttered to Hawks who laughed as they watched Rina’s cousin do their best to tell Fuyumi (in as many ways as they could) how incredible her voice was.
“Bohemian Rhapsody.” Natsuo chose the next song, nudging Shouto.
“Mm.” Shouto nodded.
The group that they had joined was indeed already on a different plane of drunkenness than they were and Dabi was frankly impressed no one had hurled all over the karaoke room (which to be honest smelled a little like it might have already happened in its long history).
“Karaoke is fun.” Hawks seemed to have decided as he watched Natsuo take the mic.
“Yeah? You ever done it before?”
Hawks shook his head, “Nah, the first time I went to a proper club was with you after all.”
“Karaoke is family friendly, thought that maybe you’d done it with your colleagues or something.”
“Never.”
“Then I guess I’m taking all your firsts.”
Hawks just fluttered his lashes obnoxiously at that, “Lucky you.” He said, voice syrupy sweet.
Dabi rolled his eyes, “At least you’re an easier drunk to handle than some.” He commented, clearly referencing the night they had gone to the club. Hawks had never been properly wasted before and Dabi (hand over heart) had given him carte blanche to get as wasted as he wanted and no matter what his loving boyfriend would clean up the mess.
Drunk Hawks had wanted to fly around and eat fried chicken. Properly wasted Hawks had wanted to drink more, talk about hero work in a feverish voice, run away into the night with Dabi chasing after him, not get into a taxi, drink three cans of grape soda and cuddle on the pavement. All in that order.
All in all he really wasn’t that troublesome.
“Natsuo?” Hawks inferred easily.
“He’s a close second. Fuyumi surprisingly.”
“Really?”
“She can get aggressive sometimes and she’s a freakishly strong drunk. I swear she could take on the league single-handedly.”
Hawks considered it, face illuminated by the disco ball in the room and backed by Natsuo’s unfortunate caterwauling, “I’d back her.” He decided.
“Right choice.”
At that moment one of the girls in the group, clearly on the too drunk side of the spectrum, leaned across to them practically falling over the couch in the process.
“Sooooooo.” She looked between the two of them, “How long have you guys been together?”
“Like… kinda two years?” Dabi looked to Hawks for confirmation who nodded.
“Wow.” The girl sighed dreamily, “That’s amazing. I’ve never had a proper boyfriend. It must be so nice.”
“Yeah, it’s not bad.” Dabi conceded.
“Mmm.” She still looked rather dreamy, “I just feel like it’s so hard to find love nowadays! People don’t just meet like they used to? How did you meet?”
“Work.” Dabi answered promptly.
“Oooh, were you colleagues?”
“Rival companies you could say. Corporate espionage style.” Dabi continued.
The girl blinked, mouth a little open, “That’s beautiful.” She said sincerely, “Wow, that’s so nice.”
“It is?” Hawks blinked but then rapidly gained confidence in his espionage-based romance, “Yeah, it kinda is!”
“You surmounted an obstacle!” The girl continued, “That’s like, what true love is. Surmounting the obstacles of life. Together.”
Dabi and Hawks shared a look. Dabi’s lips quirked into a smile under his mask.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
The girl sighed dreamily once more and really, it was a miracle she had even been heard over the sound of Natsuo practically screaming. Certainly an obstacle she had surmounted in the course of this conversation.
*
“Oh my god! Are you Todoroki Shouto?” The girl’s hair in the club was glowing under the UV lights. It looked pretty cool.
Shouto took a sip of his beer. “No.” He answered, “But I get that a lot.”
“To be honest you look familiar too.” One of the girl’s friends peered at Dabi curiously.
“I’m a rapper, not mainstream though, and I never show my face. That’s my signature thing. The mask is actually all to do with my quirk which-”
Hawks started choking which forced Dabi to cut off.
“I’m single.” Natsuo added with a grin, “In case you were wondering.”
The second girl gave him a long lingering up and down, “Do you wanna dance?”
“Thought you’d never ask.” And with that Natsuo was gone.
“What songs have you done?” Girl number one asked Dabi, “I love rap, maybe I’ve heard a few.”
“Some pretty obscure stuff.” Dabi leaned back against the bar, “This is my manager.” He grabbed Hawks and dragged him forward with an arm around his shoulders.
“You look familiar too.” The girl hummed consideringly, “I swear, I defs know you know somewhere, who have you collabed with?” She leaned in closer, twirling her hair as she did so.
“We’re dating.” Hawks suddenly said loudly, “Just so you know.”
The girl nodded, “I figured by your-” She makes a gesture to the way they’re kind of clutching each other, “But seriously, name one of your songs. I like your vibe, both of you.” She gave Hawks a meaningful look.
Hawks gave Dabi a confused and slightly desperate look to which Dabi gave him an incomprehensible meaningful look back.
“Is that your friend?” Shouto suddenly asked, pointing at the girl who had gone off with Natsuo and now looked to be yelling at him, throwing her hands up as she stalked off while a drink dripped off Natsuo’s t-shirt and part of his neck.
“Oh sh*t.” The girl immediately took off after her friend who was marching away, fists balled up. She caught up and threw an arm around her, glaring at Natsuo over her shoulder as the two girls went off.
“Ooof.” Dabi winced in sympathy as Natsuo appeared, looking a little beaten down, “Do we wanna know?”
“I wanna go up for a smoke.” Natsuo said, sounding defeated, “Anyone?”
“Yeah, I could use the fresh air.” Hawks agreed easily.
“I’m going to find Fuyumi.” Shouto said and disappeared off into the crowd.
“C’mon,” Dabi steered Natsuo towards the entrance of club, “You want water?”
“I’m good.”
It was only once they were upstairs and safely standing in a relatively quiet area down the street amongst the other smokers that Dabi asked.
“So? Why’d she look like she wanted to murder you?”
Natsuo groaned and turned so his forehead was resting against the cold brick wall.
Hawks and Dabi shared a look.
“What?” Dabi continued, “Bad breath? Terrible dancing? Realised you’re uglier up close?”
“She’s Kiyoko’s friend from primary school.” Natsuo answered, still with his head resting on the wall.
Hawks and Dabi shared another look, this one more incredulous.
“f*cking small world.” Dabi whistled to himself.
“Isn’t it true that if you know six people then you’re tangentially-”
“Not now birdbrain, though you've got a point.” Dabi shoved at Hawks lightly before reaching out to shove at Natsuo. “So what? She didn’t wanna f*ck you cuz you’re her friend’s ex, that’s f*cking normal. What's your issue? Why are you making noises like you're about to f*cking die?”
Natsuo just groaned again and didn’t say anything else.
“Hey.” Shouto suddenly appeared out of nowhere, towing Fuyumi with him who was holding a beer can.
“What’s going on?” Fuyumi asked, “Shouto said someone threw a drink on you.” She directed at Natsuo.
“From my angle it looked like that.” Shouto explained.
“She spilled it on me but that was an accident.”
“Natsuo tried to hook up with Kiyoko’s childhood friend.” Dabi added.
“I didn’t know she was Kiyoko’s friend.” Natsuo said with despair, “Stop misrepresenting the whole thing.”
“Natsuo.” Fuyumi’s voice was deeply disapproving.
“Oh f*ck off.” Natsuo groaned, “I feel sh*t enough as it is, and for what? I didn’t commit a f*cking crime? I didn’t know who she was!”
“Hmph.” There was a wealth of judgement contained in that small huff.
Natsuo spun around with pure frustration on his face, “If you have something to say then just say it!”
Fuyumi didn’t back down. Shouto, Dabi and Hawks backed up slightly.
“You should feel bad.” She said viciously, “Even though I know the only reason you do right now is because you know that this friend is going to tell Kiyoko and Kiyoko is going to know you’ve been hooking up with other people.”
“We. Broke. Up!” Natsuo half-yelled. A few people up the street looked at them and he made a conscious effort to reduce his volume, “We broke up!” He hissed, quieter, “We are not together anymore, I can get with whoever I want.”
“And here you are, upset, because you know it’s not right.”
“What do I know?” Natsuo challenged, “It’s not wrong.”
“You ended things on good terms, why are you disrespecting her by making a move on every girl who will give you the time of day?”
“How am I disrespecting her? It’s over! I can do whatever I want!”
“And how do you think she’ll feel, hearing that you’ve been sleeping your way through Honshu for the past month weeks after you ended things?”
“So what? In that case if she’s upset she’s being unreasonable, she doesn’t have any right to feel any kind of way now that we’re over.”
Fuyumi narrowed her eyes, “I refuse to believe you’re this callous.” She shot back and she sounded properly angry, “You know what I’m saying, stop acting so obtuse on purpose! It’s disrespectful and for someone who shared a very good relationship with a girl where it ended on good terms you should have waited before throwing yourself into this ego-validation-sex-trip you’re on!”
“Ooof.” Muttered Dabi.
Hawks was half turned away by this point, doing his best to pretend he wasn’t listening and was instead heavily invested in the path a spider was making up an adjacent wall.
Shouto had wandered off, either back into the club or, more likely, to the nearest open Konbini for snacks.
“Oh f*ck you Fuyumi.” Natsuo glared at her, “The only reason you’re picking a fight right now is because you’re unhappy in your own relationship, don’t come for me just because your own life is a mess.”
“Ooooof.” Dabi turned away to join Hawks in staring at the wall.
“You!” Fuyumi seemed to be frozen in anger, “You’re so immature! You never think about anyone else’s feelings but your own and even when you do if it doesn’t suit you you just pretend not to understand! You’re infuriating! If you feel upset right now you need to sit down and take a good long hard look at why because I can guarantee there’s a real reason somewhere under all that posturing. So f*ck you too.”
And then she stomped off.
Dabi whistled from where he was also now watching the spider.
Natsuo made another noise of despair.
Shouto finally re-appeared holding a bag of peach gummies that he didn't offer to anyone else except Hawks. “Where’s Fuyumi?” He asked.
“Back inside.” Dabi rubbed at his forehead, “What the f*ck.”
“Haha.” Hawks sounded very nervous, he had also refused the gummy, “We good?”
“We’re fine.” Natsuo sighed, “f*ck.”
“So, you gonna accept she’s at least a little right and also a little wrong?” Dabi asked Natsuo.
Natsuo sighed again, “Sure. Fine. We ended on good terms but I don’t feel good about it. I’m pissed that she’s going to do this masters.”
“You’re pissed she’s choosing her wider life goals over you?” The words were harsh but said without judgement.
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Okay then, at least you can f*cking admit it.” Dabi sighed, “f*ck I’m exhausted, what time is it? I don’t have the energy to deal with anything else tonight.”
“Three twenty two.” Shouto promptly answered.
“Exhausted.” Dabi repeated.
“f*ck.” Natsuo sighed again, for the third time.
“If you keep doing that you’ll sigh out all your luck.” Dabi warned. Hawks shot him an interested look as if to say “really? That’s a thing?”, Dabi nodded seriously in confirmation.
“Whatever, I’m ready to go home.”
“You don’t wanna go to afters with the gang?”
“I’m pretty sure most of them are on the way to passing out.” Natsuo said dryly, “Besides, I’m pretty much ready to drop.”
“Great, then let’s go in and round up those other losers and say we’re leaving. Hawks and I’ll wait out here.”
Natsuo sighed and waved half-heartedly as he and Shouto disappeared back towards the club entrance.
“That was… something.” Hawks sounded uneasy.
“Ehh, it was pretty chill compared to some of the stuff we’ve gotten into before.”
“How do you guys do that?” Hawks asked, sounding genuinely curious, “How do you fight like that and still… still get on.”
“Fuyumi and Natsuo are the worst.” Dabi says easily, “I think they’re just used to it, like with each other they’ll get over pretty much anything. Not really like they have much choice, can’t go out and get another sister.”
“I guess not.” Hawks frowns, “It’s weird though, is there a line? Do they even know what the line is?”
“This is an intense line of questioning.” Dabi says with a yawn, “They’ll work it out, they've known each other since birth anyway. Like they know everything about each other in a way that they really don’t about me or even Shouto if you get me. It’s bound to grate, that lack of mystery. It means when they really get into each other they aren’t speaking from no facts. They hate it because the other is always a little right.”
“Huh.” Hawks looked thoughtful, “That makes sense.”
“I always make sense.”
“co*cky.” But Hakws made it sound like more of a compliment.
It was at that moment that the whole sorry group spilled out of the club. Everyone looked like various shades of death and one girl had what was definitely vomit on her skirt.
“Oh f*ck.” Dabi winced, “I’m not getting involved.” He then backed away.
Rina’s cousin promptly fell over.
“Ok fine, I got this.” Hawks stepped forward and in about twenty minutes had wrangled everyone’s addresses from them, paired together the more sober people with at least two of the drunker ones, shoved them into cabs and sent them off.
He dusted his hands off when he was done and bowed a little showily to the Todosibs who were watching in stunned (and impressed) silence, “Just doing my civic duty.” He winked.
“f*ck, you’re so cool.” Natsuo said, looking ready to fall over himself.
“Can we go get food?” Shouto asked, “Before we go home?”
“I’m exhausted.” Fuyumi complained but she didn’t argue too hard against food and in fact even looped her arm through Shouto’s as they walked off in tacit approval.
Dabi, Hawks and Natsuo trailed behind as Shouto marched ahead as though he had an actual destination in mind.
When Dabi’s phone rang he really wasn’t planning on answering since it was a number he didn’t recognise to his current work phone and he was on holiday. But for some batsh*t reason he picked it up anyway. It was a terrible mistake.
“DABI!” Screamed a voice that was undoubtedly Toga Himiko, “DON’T YOU DARE HANG UP ON ME! YOU’RE SUCH A SNEAK!”
“Who is it?” Asked Hawks.
Dabi pretended he had gone deaf and went to hang up.
“ALL THIS TIME! AND IT WAS HAWKS ALL ALONG! YOU MADE US THINK YOU WERE IN A LOVE TRIANGLE BUT ALL ALONG IT WAS HAWKS! AHHHH!”
“Oh balls.” Muttered Dabi.
Natsuo was blinking at Dabi, “Who is that? What’re they saying?”
“Dabi,” It was clearly Twice who had taken the phone, “You’re really a funny guy, you really had us! Haha! I’m so impressed! All this time-”
“You did indeed have us fooled. Hats off to you.” Dabi could literally imagine in his mind’s eyes Compress doing a little bow.
“Great. Thanks.” Dabi had no idea what was going on but that was par the course.
When Shigaraki finally took the phone and spoke his voice was very icy, “So when I told you not to leave your boyfriend for Hawks, the boyfriend at the time was actually Hawks?”
Hawks who had been leaning in to listen gave Dabi a wide-eyed look. At the thought that the league now knew the truth or at the thought of Shigaraki giving romantic advice Dabi couldn’t say.
“Yeah.” Dabi decided to lean into it, “It was f*cking funny.”
There was a pause, “f*ck you.” Shigaraki finished with, before passing the phone to someone else.
Natsuo (who was listening in wide-eyed on Dabi’s other side) shot him a look, “The league?” He mouthed.
Dabi sighed.
“Hawks is pretty cool though.” Spinner found the need to say thoughtfully, “If you had to get with a hero I can see why’d it be him.”
Hawks looked very flattered. He was an idiot.
“I’m not saying sh*t.” Dabi told them with judgement, “Why the f*ck do you all even think I’m with Hawks, not confirming or denying.”
Toga took the phone, “We’re in London!” She sounded thrilled, “And we’re calling you from one of those red phone boxes! So cute! But anyways, we were in a cafe and the people on the table over were talking about Hawks and his boyfriend and there was a magazine with a pic of you guys and you were obviously you! You only own one pair of shoes and I remember the laces got really messed up when we took down that weird gang, remember? So yeah, once I thought about it it made sooooo much sense.”
Foiled by the paparazzi once more. Also in London? Were they really international that way? How… disturbing.
“Again, I’m not saying sh*t. Believe whatever you want.”
“But Daaaaaaabi-”
“Isn’t it the middle of the night in Japan?” Shigaraki suddenly cut in, “Why are you awake?”
“Are you my f*cking mother?”
“I hate you.” Shigaraki said simply and devastatingly, “I’m hanging up. f*ck you and your hero boyfriend.”
“Why did he say f*ck me?” Hawks sounded unreasonably affected.
“Asshole! Not if I f*cking hang up on you first.” Dabi smashed at his phone desperately and called it a draw on hanging up.
“sh*t.” Natsuo blinked at both Dabi and Hawks, “Isn’t that bad? Didn’t the league just figure out something really incriminating?”
Dabi rolled his eyes, “Trust me, they’ll have forgotten by tomorrow. Besides, even if they wanted to tell someone who would believe them?”
“Damn… that’s kinda sad.”
“You didn’t confirm or deny.” Hawks suddenly said.
“Yeah of course-”
“Are you ashamed of our relationship?”
Dabi stared blank-faced at Hawks for several long seconds before his hand lit up in flames, “I’m gonna pluck you like a chicken.” He threatened and with a squawk Hawks took off running down the street with Dabi close behind.
“Ah, young love.” Natsuo mimed wiping tears.
“What’s going on?” Fuyumi asked as her Shouto and Natsuo slowed so they were all walking side by side.
“Romance.” Natsuo said grandly.
“Help.” Shouto answered at the same time.
Fuyumi couldn’t do anything but burst into peals of laughter.
*
“Bye bro!” Natsuo squeezed Hawks hard, “We’re really gonna miss you man! It’s been great! Thanks for hosting us!”
“Stay anytime!” Hawks insisted, looking very enthusiastic which Dabi was sure he wouldn’t if he didn’t have a housekeeping service.
“f*ckuoka is cool.” Shouto gave Hawks a hug next, “I’ll come back. Your couch is comfortable.”
“Well, I aim to please.”
“Thanks so much for having us.” Fuyumi said with a smile, also giving Hawks a hug, “And thank you for looking after us, and putting up with us all this time. I’m very very glad Dabi somehow by some miracle managed to attract you and then keep you. You’re a braver man than most.”
“f*ck you Fuyumi.” Dabi flashed her the bird.
Hawks laughed, “It’s a privilege.” He said grandly.
“Yeah yeah.” Dabi swatted at Fuyumi’s shoulder, “Let go of him, let him breathe.”
Fuyumi just raised an eyebrow, “Alright,” She backed off Hawks, “No need to get jealous.”
“f*ck you Fuyumi.”
“Not even a little jealous?” Hawks suddenly cut in, giving Dabi a pout he likely thought was winning but in fact was awful.
“Don’t make that face ever again.” Dabi said with a shudder but he hugged Hawks as was due, “Thanks pretty bird, you’re the best. Really. Next holiday though let’s do it just the two of us.”
“I’m with you on that.” Hawks agreed as he squeezes Dabi back hard.
“See you in a few weeks.” Dabi promised as they broke apart.
“Yeah.” Hawks agreed easily and they then spent an unreasonably amount of time staring at each other.
“HURRY UP!” Natsuo yelled from where the rest of them were clustered around the lift, “WE HAD TO BE ON THE ROAD LIKE AN HOUR AGO.”
“And the delay is whose fault?” Dabi muttered before he turned to Hawks and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
His horrible siblings jeered and catcalled at the sight.
“f*ck I hate them.” He muttered before giving Hawks one last smile. “See ya Keigo.”
Hawks’ mouth was hanging open a little, “One-hit K.O.” He said, sounding strangled.
Dabi grinned again before pulling his mask up to cover the worst of the scars, “Flatterer.”
Hawks couldn’t do anything but grin back, helpless in it, “Yeah.”
And if he walked the Todosibs to the lift and stayed watching the numbers go down and long after for far longer than necessary or appropriate that was his own secret to keep.
*
OGAWA WATERFALL
“sh*t this is so f*cking picturesque.”
“Your language is disgusting.” Fuyumi said dryly.
“Clashes with the ambiance.” Dabi added as he posed for a pic that Shouto was taking.
“Y’know,” Natsuo said as he leaned back and took in the beautiful falls in front of them, “This place is so nice that I’d want to come here again. But I probably won’t. Like it’s the same with most tourist spots, like they’re nice so that’s why they become tourist spots but people never really go more than once. Weird y’know?”
“I guess so?” Dabi shared a look with Fuyumi who gave him a look back that clearly said something along the lines of “Natsuo’s feeling things, go along with it”.
“Y’know guys,” Natsuo slung an arm around Shouto, “I’ve had a really freaking good time so far. I love holidaying with y’all.”
“Really?” Dabi made a noise of great scepticism, “Last night you called all of us “a bunch of neeks” and told Fuyumi she was a fool.”
Fuyumi huffed.
“I apologised!” Natsuo protested, “And besides you guys didn’t want to watch the movie I wanted! That’s valid.”
Shouto, who was currently being squashed in Natsuo’s grasp, hummed in affirmation.
“Besides,” Natsuo quickly continued, “Water under the bridge. Point is, I love travelling with you fools.”
Fuyumi whacked him, “Stop calling me a fool!”
“I called everyone else a fool too!” Natsuo protested.
“I’m not a fool!”
Dabi hummed consideringly, “Well….”
“Do you wanna go?!” Fuyumi practically snarled.
“Whoa!” Dabi threw his hands out, “Tone it down.”
“Hello?” Natsuo protested, “I was in the middle of saying something.”
“What was it?” Shouto loyally asked, “I want to know.”
“And that’s why you’re the only valid person in this f*cking family.” Natsuo muttered, “Okay well, Shou, I was gonna include those fools-”
“Watch it!”
“But I have decided to just make it the two of us. I wanna go abroad on Holiday. Imagine us in Morocco or Vegas or the Vatican!”
“Where’s the Vatican?”
“Italy.”
“I’ve never been to Italy.” Fuyumi suddenly pipes in to say, “I’ve always wanted to go to Venice.”
“Let’s go then!” Natsuo immediately expands his plans, “C’mon guys, group trip overseas! The Todosibs take Europe or America or something.”
“Shigaraki wants to go to Vegas.” Dabi said with a look of pure disgust on his face, “It’s a f*cking no from me.”
Natsuo sighed, “You really need to stop pretending you don’t f*ck with those guys. I know they’re weird but c’mon, they’re actually not that bad.”
“They really do like you.” Fuyumi said with way too much earnestness considering the league was involved, “They’re not bad friends.”
Dabi gagged.
“They did save my life one time.” Shouto added.
“Red flag right there.” Dabi reached out and shoved Shouto, “I would have killed you.”
“Why do we always end up talking about death?” Fuyumi bemoaned loudly.
“That’s what our relationship is built on.” Natsuo said grandly, “Death threats and Shouto.”
Shouto obligingly threw up a peace sign.
Fuyumi opened her mouth to protest, paused for a second and then closed it.
“Anyways, Vegas?”
“I’m legally dead.” Dabi immediately said, “And I don’t have a passport.”
“Okay… fair I guess. Though you really do need to stop using the “legally dead” excuse for everything. Yumi?”
“As long as it’s during school holidays, but do we really have to go to Vegas? Can’t we go somewhere else? What about Paris? I’ve always wanted to go to Paris, the Eiffel tower sparkles at night, I want to see that.”
“Sounds romantic, go do that with Haru.” Was Natsuo’s response.
“I want to go to Seoul.” Shouto suddenly felt the need to throw his hat in the ring.
“Oh, okay new contender. Why?”
“I like Korean food.” Shouto said, “And a lot of my friends really like a few Korean Pop groups. I could get them souvenirs.”
“And Shouto once again displays his astounding lack of understanding in the world by claiming Holidays should in fact be for others' benefit.” Dabi muttered.
Shouto shrugs, “I like getting people souvenirs.”
“I say we go to Taiwan.” Dabi offered, “I know someone who has a pretty basic teleportation quirk who can get us there. Maybe even the Philippines if we got him a quirk enhancer.”
“Why can’t we just fly there like normal people?”
“No passport, duh. I can use them and y’all can fly.”
“The Philippines sounds lit.” Natsuo said with mounting enthusiasm. “One of my friends from school was a quarter Filipino and for one birthday they invited us over to their house and we had, uh it’s called like a kamayan I think, like this big spread of food served on banana leaves. It was really f*cking good.”
“That does sound nice.” Fuyumi turned to Dabi, “Can you get a quirk enhancer?”
“I’ll do some asking around.”
“Well ask around then. I could do the next Spring time break, so March? How does that sound?”
Shouto nodded, “I can try and get annual leave when I start working.”
“I’m freelance so it’s all good for me.” Dabi gave a thumbs up to his loser 9-5 siblings.
“I’m not sure.” Natsuo admitted, “I don’t know what rotation I’ll be on then. Some supervisors are an actual bag of dicks and not in a sexy way.”
“In what world would a bag of dicks ever be f*cking sexy?”
“Let’s save the date for now and let us know when you can.” Fuyumi made sure to pin down.
“Sounds good.” Natsuo let out a huge yawn, “f*ck I’m tired.”
“You did do the majority of the driving.” Fuyumi said with some sympathy.
“And you’ve spent the time you’re not driving hungover.” Dabi then added with no sympathy.
“Screw you.” Natsuo kicked at Dabi with no real heat. “You’ve contributed nothing to the trip. You haven't driven once!”
“I’m legally dead, I could drive but I don’t have a licence.”
“God, the legally f*cking dead excuse again.”
“It checks out!” Dabi hit Natsuo, “Don’t be a piece of sh*t.”
“Oh you wanna f*cking go?”
“f*ck you!”
And then Natsuo had tackled Dabi into the water and was trying to strangle him.
Fuyumi sighed and looked up to the heavens for patience.
“Shouto.” She said with great patience, “Let’s go for a walk that way.”
And with that the two of them left them to it.
*
AMAMI ŌSHIMA
Natsuo lazily unlocked Shouto’s phone. He was lying prone on the sand as he watched Fuyumi down a beer with intense enthusiasm. He smiled to himself. Fuyumi had certainly done a lot of beer drinking this trip but it was probably for the best.
Shouto was trying to outdrink her while Dabi watched and laughed. Natsuo felt a well of happiness so deep in him it had settled into a soft contentment spread over him, warmer and more comforting than the muggy tropical air.
He was pretty sure they weren’t supposed to be on this secluded beach (they’d only managed to find it and get down the cliff to it with Shouto’s quirk) but hey, Shouto could get them out of trouble as long as he didn’t pass out.
Natsuo flicked to Shouto’s various group chats which were all alive and buzzing with activity. His friends were sending pictures of what they were doing, messages and updates and so on. Natsuo felt indulgent, like he was suddenly much much older and wiser than them which he really wasn’t.
Advice boy had sent a message that Natsuo had to squint to read. Okay, maybe he’d also done his fair share of beer drinking. What he could read of the message was f*cking hilarious and because of that Natsuo replied with a “lmao” which he supposed was slightly out of character for Shouto.
The messages came immediately.
Kaminari: oh my god todoroki just said lmao i can die happy
Midoriya: Todoroki-kun, what are you up to right now?
Natsuo decided to just out himself.
Todoroki: it’s natsuo lol. Shou is half-way to passing out no way is he typing anything legible.
There came in a flurry of messages about what he meant and he had to clarify he meant passing out from alcohol consumption not anything quirk related (seriously what was up with these hero kids?). After answering a few obligatory questions about how the roadtrip was going he re-locked Shouto’s phone and went to join his siblings. Shouto was doing a drunken little dance and Fuyumi was laughing uncontrollably at something Natsuo hadn’t heard.
Dabi gave him a long-suffering look which was almost a grin.
There in the glow of the little bonfire they made Natsuo felt like… well he felt good. And that was it. Simple.
Dabi scooted closer to him then and together they watched Shouto and Fuyumi drunkenly make fools of themselves.
Later Natsuo sent one final video to Shouto’s little group chat just because he felt like it needed to be seen.
The video:
Strong flash hits Shouto’s face. His eyes are bright from alcohol and he’s slightly flushed.
“Ready?” He asks the camera man.
The camera moves as if it’s nodding before panning a little to show the dark sea on one side and the sand of the beach illuminated by the flames of the bonfire and the flash of the camera.
Shouto nods and turns towards the sea. The camera moves closer to and focuses on him from the waist up. He’s shirtless and wearing swimming trunks. His hair is wet and it sticks to his neck and bits of his face.
Suddenly Shouto’s hands begin moving, his fingers forming complex seals until he suddenly yells, “KATON: GOKAKYU NO JUTSU” and he brings his fingers to his lips held in a circle. Suddenly brilliantly blooming flames roar across the dark water.
In the background of the video there’s screaming from a female and a male voice and the video pans slightly to show a white-haired woman in a swimsuit and a black-haired man screaming and jumping up and down. The video pans back to Shouto before it can linger too long on them.
Once the camera is back on Shouto he grins wide at the camera and does a little bow.
“Don’t try that at home.” He says.
The camera shakes a little as if with laughter, and with one final breathless smile from Shouto the video ends.
